The Best Ned Quotes

Peter: No, Spider-Man isn't a party trick! I'm just gonna be myself.
Ned: Peter, nobody wants that!

Peter: [on a school bus] Hey, I need you to cause a distraction.
Ned: [sees the spaceship] Holy shit. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Ned: [to Peter] You were on the ceiling!

Michelle: My friends call me MJ.
Ned: I thought you didn't have any friends.
Michelle: I... didn't.

Ned: [to Peter] Can you summon an army of spiders?
Peter: No, man!

Ned: You're the Spider-Man, from YouTube!

Peter: I'm sick of Mr. Stark treating me like a kid.
Ned: But you are a kid.
Peter: Yeah. A kid who can stop a bus with his bare hands.

Ned: Peter, are you okay?
Spider: Yeah. Just keep trying to get through to Happy.
Ned: It's been an honor, Spider-Man.
[library lights turn on]
Ms. Warren: What are you doing here? There's a dance.
Ned: Uh...
[quickly shuts his laptop]
Ned: [awkwardly] I'm... looking... at porn.