The Best The Office, Season 8, Episode 2 Quotes

Robert: [Drinks from a mug] That is very cold.
Erin: Yeah, that is old. I asked if you wanted a cold beverage, and you said coffee.

- No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method because I still don't know if you're saying seaworld or "see the world."
- And it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
- Fine, fine, I'll talk normally.
- When me president, they see.
- They see.

Kevin: Me do now. Go. Stop worry.

Erin: Um, D-dog, you have a message.
Pam: Erin, you don't need to call him that.
Erin: Andy wants us to, P-dog.
Darryl: It's okay, E-dog.

- Andy, can you inspire?
- Do you have that skillset?
- Can I inspire?
[Laughs] I don't know.
- I don't know.
Robert: Oh, thank you.
- Oh, sorry.
- Yeah, just put it down.

- Yeah, we had a few fights, isuppose, but last night we put a lot of that to bed.
- I can't tell you what I did with my ex-wife last night.
- I have to sing it.
[Singing] We took a shower we were naked

- "De-incentivizing." what are your strategies?
- I'm looking for a real blow to morale.
- Uh, why?
- Well, um,
- I guess you could say
- I'm in one of those classic ass-tattoo-incentive situations.

Oscar: He's making a statement. It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A funhouse image of our model of Kevin.
Kevin: You keep think that.

Kevin: Me mechanic not speak English, but he know what me mean when me say car no go and we best friends. So me think, "Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?"

Dwight: Here's how I'm gonna help out from now on. I'm going to not care, and I'm gonna sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.

- You got it. Double.
- Done. Pntnotmddmg.
- Neither am I. It's already done.
- I'm just kidding.
- It's going to wkesomefime. Double.
- Hey.

- Invest in softer cotton, sir.
Andy: Ow!
- Oh!
- Obviously you can go the ass tattoo route and obviously I'm going to like it.
- Draw some blood! Ha-ha!

Darryl: Yeah, we had a few fights, I suppose. But last night we put a lot of that to bed. I can't tell you what I did with my ex-wife last night. I have to sing it. We took a shower, We were naked. We, scap dap dap doo doo doo doo doo doo.

Andy: Kevin, I appreciate what you're trying to do.
Kevin: Thank.
Andy: Here, we have a word code the same way we have a dress code. And what we're talking about is basically the speech equivalent to just wearing underpants. Sometimes words, you no need use but need need for talk talk.
Kevin: But save time. More success.
Jim: Does it save time though? 'Cause we've been here for about an hour.
Kevin: No me fault.
Pam: Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time.
Kevin: Many small time make big time.
Pam: What are you gonna do with all this time?
Kevin: See world.
Pam: Kevin, you cannot possibly save enough time to see the world.
Jim: K, Kevin, are you saying "See the world" or "Sea World?"
Kevin: See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.
Jim: No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method. 'Cause I still don't know if you're saying "Sea World" or "see the world," and it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
Kevin: Fine, fine. I'll talk normally.