The Best The Sopranos, Season 4, Episode 2 Quotes

- what? It's a joke?
- Stop.
- You don't wanna back me up?
- Stop.
- God.
- That's gorgeous.
- Isn't it?
- Christopher gave it to me.
- Yeah, you like it, huh, baby?

Silvio: [to Patsy] I understand we have some business to discuss? The floor is yours
Patsy: [to Little Paulie] Go on, tell them
Little: I drove out to Youngstown to see uncle Paulie and he was hoping you can settle this shit with Ralph and those no-show carpenter jobs?
Ralph: Ok, for the record, I had my guy go over the books: we can maybe do two carpenter jobs, one no show, one no work
Patsy: two jobs? On a three hundred-million-dollar project?
Silvio: [to Ralph] Come on, what's the real number?
Ralph: [amused] What am I speaking in tongues here? Two, maybe I can do three?
Little: My uncle's looking for at least ten
Patsy: [to Little Paulie after slapping him on the chest] I'm talkin here
Patsy: [to everybody, referring to Paulie] The guy's in the can, you think you want to keep him happy maybe?
Silvio: [before pointing upwards, implying these orders came from Tony] alright, here it is, and this comes from... for the duration, you will give Paulie five carpenter jobs: two no-shows and three no work. One of the no-shows our friend in Youngstown keeps and one he gives to Chrissy here. The others, the no work jobs, that's for Paulie, how he wants to distribute them
Ralph: It is so decreed, now if there isn't anything else?
Silvio: There is something else. With Paulie in the can, there's a new acting capo of his crew: it's Chrissy, that's the way certain people want it, we trust there will be no ill will

- Hey.
- The rotor on the washing machine broke.
- Carm said I could use yours.
- Clean out the filter this time.
- Disgusting.

- Come.
- It's all right.
- Listen, I don't mean to be a pest...
- But your guys...
- I'll take care of that.
- This is not the fiber optics.
- I'm talking about the floor tiles.
- What floor tiles?
- Last night, somebody hijacked a trailer.
- The truck crushed a shed on its way out too.

- What? You catch some shrapnel?
- Intro to social theory is...
- Sorry, it's closed out.
- You're cutting it a little close for most of the popular classes.
- What about this one?
- 09531?
- It's your lucky day.

- No more dipping at the job according to fucking alfalfa.
- But the order comes down from Tony.
- Go ahead.
- What?
- Knock off the tile?
- If Tony says no...?
- I got your back.
- Tony will be fine with it.

- She's an adolescent psychologist and an educational consultant.
- Well, what do you mean? Talk about private family stuff like I do here?
- With you?
- Yes.
- Look, like you said, she's going back to school.
- She's gonna be with her college pals, back to the grindstone.
- That's all good shit.

Carmela: did you go see Dr. Klober?
Meadow: [while lying in bed] yeah
Carmela: well, what did you talk about?
Meadow: she says I don't have to tell you or dad: it's "confidential"
Carmela: this is what we pay two hundred dollars for
Meadow: it was your idea, I only saw her out of a gesture of "good will"
Meadow: [after Carmela calls Tony into Meadow's room] look, I don't know what you're so upset about: it's my right to go to Europe, that's what she said
Carmela: I don't care what she said: it's totally irresponsible
Tony: [after entering Meadow's room] what?
Carmela: the therapist told her it is her "right" to go to Europe
Tony: whoa, whoa, she actually thinks this a good idea?
Meadow: she says it's no big deal, I can pick up my education wherever, whenever
Carmela: oh, really?
Meadow: Wendy said she can get me into a school in Barcelona if I decided to stay
Tony: who's "Wendy"?
Meadow: Dr. Wendy Klober?
Carmela: Barcelona?
Tony: I could take Melfi's head and crush it like a fuckin walnut
Carmela: I feel "battered"
Meadow: [getting out of bed] I've got to get to the salon
Carmela: did you tell "Wendy" you didn't work all summer?
Meadow: [sarcastically] wait, your right, I forgot to mention the "pivotal role" of the work ethic in this family
Carmela: you can lose that "smart mouth" right now
Meadow: or what? What is this Afghanistan? I'm over eighteen now, I'm a grown woman I can go wherever I want and do what I want
Carmela: [raises her voice] alright, Jesus, God, we know that, is that your only point here? Because "just" getting what you want is for babies, not adults
Meadow: it may interest you to know she thinks I probably should be on Prozac
Carmela: [surprised] she does?
Tony: she said that?
Meadow: Jackie was murdered, I know you think it's noting that screwing my head off at the Columbia army game wouldn't cure
Carmela: that is so unfair
Tony: alright, look, I've been thinking about this: now you're a smart girl, the "right move" is for you to wait, just until next year maybe?
Meadow: you know what I don't understand, dad? You were all in favor of me going
Tony: your mother doesn't want it
Meadow: [sarcastically] wow, listen to "Mr. mob boss"
Tony: what'd you call me?
Meadow: all this fucking "pussy footing" around for years now? Why don't we just get it out there?

- Perhaps they should examine their own needs to have you stay in school.
- Blow off their self-esteem issues.
- So you book on Columbia, you can come back when you're ready.
- Or I could write you a letter to the university of Barcelona.
- It's a hot school.
- I'm on a consultancy there.

Tony: [Referring to his daughter Meadow] the kid was suppose to get a job this summer: an internship, then it wasn't right for what she was studying, ok that's one down then she was going to be a hostess at Artie Bucco's restaurant. I got her that and there was a problem that she couldn't work Tuesdays and Thursdays because of her babysitting commitments and Artie didn't try to understand so she left. Then the babysitting family disappeared to Nantucket, then something else fell through
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So, she's regressing
Tony: She keeps it up she'll be back "in the womb"
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Over the course of a child's life there's a constant moving away and coming back, security versus freedom but what I find interesting and if I'm hear you right, is that at the age of nineteen she actually wants to stay close to home
Tony: Well, see that's what I was going to say, she did have someone close: die
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Jackie
Tony: But she brings that up whenever you ask her to clean up or whatever, she's "traumatized"
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: He was shot to death
Tony: Yeah it's tragic that kid
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It was some kind of drug deal you said?
Tony: Yeah exactly all the "earmarks", no its got to be tough but they've broken up and he wasn't very nice to her
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Maybe it's a manipulation in part
Tony: She's got a hard on about Columbia: "it's so competitive"
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: But it doesn't mean her pain over Jackie's death isn't real. Has she said to you or Carmella she's depressed?
Tony: Oh, come on with that shit, she's going to be alright
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Maybe she should be on medication? And her anger is focused on Carmella? Not on you?
Tony: I catch some shit, we were always close even in that "fifteen year old" period where she can hardly stomach Carmella
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, you are the dad. The template for all future lovers
Tony: She loves me, I know that, since she was a tiny baby
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It might be helpful if she saw someone. Dr. Wendi Kobler, she's adolescent psychologist and an educational consultant
Tony: What'd you mean? Talk about private family stuff like I do here with you?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Yes
Tony: Like you said she's going back to school, be with her college pals, back to the "grindstone", that's all good shit

Carmela: If you stop now, it'll be that much harder to get back on track
Tony: Your mother's right
Carmela: just out of curiosity, what're you planning on using for money?
Meadow: Cheap tickets' is running a sale, I can cash in the bonds nana gave me: most likely I'll be working
Tony: [sarcastically] Oh yeah, on some student film
Meadow: It's not a student film, it's a feature on DV-CAM: he got honorable mention at the Winnipeg Film Festival last year for his short
Tony: Forget money, what about security? You think traipsing around Europe is the smart move these days?
Meadow: Like Europe is any less safe than here? Look, you don't seem to get it. I keep having images of Jackie April lying in a pool of his own blood in some street somewhere
Carmela: So, French discos drive away sad thoughts?
Meadow: You've never heard of the restorative nature of travel? Read Henry James. Why does every college have junior year abroad if there isn't a need for it?
Carmela: Then why don't you wait for junior year? It's eight months
Meadow: Because I need it now
Tony: [irritated] You want to go to Europe? Go! Clear your head, do whatever the hell they do over there
Meadow: Thank you, I will
Carmela: [to Tony] Don't you think she should talk to someone first? A counselor maybe?
Tony: Maybe the college of hard knocks is what she needs? Let's see how she likes it when some gypsy lifts her wallet, let her find out you can't work over there without a permit like the French hang onto like their balls

Carmela: [after Tony arrives home] Oh, thank God, where is the number of the therapist Melfi gave you?
Tony: Why? What happened?
Carmela: Your daughter, she's going to Europe: dropping out of school and going all over the place on a Euro pass
Tony: What, is she fucking kidding?
Carmela: Apparently not, her passport from the Christmas in the Bahamas is still valid
Tony: Where is she?
Carmela: I don't know, down the shore
Tony: Oh, I suppose all these parties she goes to are all memorials for Jackie Jr., right?
Carmela: Please with the yelling
Tony: So, what the fuck is in Europe?
Carmela: Experience, "real life", art
Tony: You know I knew when this constant "harping" on art was gonna cause trouble
Carmela: She's going to work in publicity with some friend of Misty's and going to make a movie in Denmark. I think we should call that therapist
Tony: She's going back to school: they got counselors there, better ones, Ivy league ones. No fucking way she's going to Europe
Carmela: Fine

- So, what the fuck do you care?
- Last year, you were pushing me to take him out.
- I'm just saying, with the change of rank and all, maybe he feels...
- Marginalized.
- Marginalized?
- What the fuck does that even mean?

Christopher: [referring to Danielle"] There's "something" wrong with that broad
Adriana: There's "something" wrong with you
Christopher: [while taking out a jewelry case and giving it to her] Yeah? Here's what's wrong with me
Adriana: [when seeing the diamond bracelet inside the case] Holy shit, oh my God! These diamonds!
Christopher: Harry Winston baby, got more "karats" than Bugs Bunny
Adriana: Christopher...
Christopher: I had a great conversation with Silvio today
Adriana: What? Tell me
Christopher: Let's just say Carmela ain't gonna be "first lady" forever

- I think he was, like, connected or something.
- He used to carry a gun.
- It's probably just to protect himself.
- I mean, Christopher does sometimes.
- When you're in a cash business...
- Stocks is a cash business?
- Can I tell you something?
- Sure.

Carmela: want some lunch? I was just about to sit down to a tuna san
Meadow: onions? In the morning?
Carmela: actually, it's two o'clock
Meadow: I'm going out by the pool
Meadow: [after seeing her irritated] what mom?
Carmela: you said you were gonna get up at eight thirty to be at TCBY Yogurt when the manager got there
Meadow: it's like five days before school starts: what's the use of getting a job now?
Carmela: oh, I don't know, a few textbooks you could buy? A pair of socks? Anything that we don't have to supply?
Meadow: look, this whole "thing" about me working between now and the start of classes is all about you being pissed because I didn't intern at the Papermill Playhouse this summer
Carmela: we bought you a car so you could drive back and forth to your internship, you don't feel bad you didn't live up to your end of the deal?
Meadow: Jesus, we've been through this how many times? There was no stage craft credit whatsoever on what they had me doing at the Playhouse. Xeroxing does not count towards a drama minor internship
Carmela: did you call the drama department? Check that out?
Meadow: no, I didn't so can we shitcan the courtroom theatrics?
Carmela: watch your mouth
Meadow: like I haven't been through enough this year? Twelve credits: two semesters in a row and I'm not entitled to a summer?
Carmela: you hardly broke a C your entire second semester
Meadow: [sarcastically] maybe you forgot my ex-boyfriend died?
Carmela: your grades started going down the tubes while you were still going out with Jackie Jr.
Meadow: great, Jesus, did you ever lose a friend at my age? Did you ever have to grieve when you were nineteen?
Carmela: honey, you should've been working this summer, if only to feel good about yourself: get your mind off Jackie instead of laying out by that pool
Meadow: I "read" out by that pool, probably half "The Canon?"
Carmela: [referring to name of the book by Natalie Angier] "The Canon"? Ok, what is that now?
Meadow: the great books? Western literature? Dead White Males? Who even in their reductionism have quite interesting things to say about death and loss. Maybe more interesting things than what you have to say?
Carmela: is Mary Higgins Clark apart of that group? Because that's what I saw you reading every time I passed by the pool. Can you at least go online and register for classes?
Meadow: I will

- Oh, my god.
- After you make bail you can explain to Tony soprano...
- Why you brought an undercover federal agent into his home.
- My god.
- We'll never hear about it, though.
- Chances are you and Christopher will just disappear.
- Get the waste basket.

- We understand your fiancé is moving up in the world.
- Or down, as the case may be.
- Problems at the esplanade site.
- Oh, my god.
- We're not asking you to wear a wire.
- We're not asking you to testify.
- We just want information.
- Is your name even Danielle?

[famous 'last words']
Christopher: This is my Goodbye Party with heroin.

- What do you care, Tony?
- It's none of your business anyhow.
- Ralph cifaretto, Janice?
- It's always fucking something with you.
- Why don't you stay out of other people's living rooms.
- Jesus Christ.

- The whole thing...
- A misunderstanding.
- A truckload of floor tiles.
- You should be looking at what, 30 grand?
- Should be about 2 grand there.
- I'll have the rest for you later.
- I know you will.

- That's the way certain people want it, and we trust there will be no ill will.
- This is fucking great. I mean,
- I know I'm just the acting, but still...
- It's a big responsibility, Chrissy.
- Hey, I got it covered.
- First thing I'm doing is getting wings in my hair.
- You know, like Paulie.
- I'll talk to you later.

Bobby: I'll tell ya what a gold mine is - those Harry Potter books. That's cause it gives the other kids, the 98-pound weaklings, some hope.
Ralph: Oh. Speaking of 98 pounds, I hear Ginny Sack's gettin' a 95-pound mole taken off her ass.
[all laugh]
Tony: Hey! Some guy's wife! Come on!

- That's not what I asked.
- Like you could talk honestly for three seconds...
- You try me!
- I made my plans. I'm going to Europe, and I'm getting the fuck out of here!
- You've been told no.
- Watch me.
- Don't do it! I'm warning you, do not do it.

Christopher: [singing from inside his car as he pulls up to the guys at the no-work construction site] If I were a carpenter and you were a douche-bag...

- That Tommy mottola, he's one slow motherfucker.
- What's it been, about a year?
- Actually, we're not going with Sony.
- We're considering a smaller independent label.
- Oh, naturally. Got any coffee?
- I may only have soy milk.
- What?

- I believe you two have already met.
- Holy fucking shit.
- Don't make a scene.
- You don't wanna attract attention.
- You're in the fucking FBI?
- We need to talk.
- It'll only take a half-hour.
- I assure you it's in your best interest.
- Could you come with us, please?
- My dog.
- It's okay. Just take her with you.

- You were saying she had a nice ass.
- I was trying to say something positive because she's your friend.
- Come here.
- What have I been telling you about this pucchiacca, huh?
- She's trying to fuck us up, Adriana.
- And what we have is stronger than any of that shit.

Tony: What'd I mean? What'd you mean? All these innuendos. You referring to me that I didn't do everything I could to keep that kid from fuckin himself up? And yeah knowing him and his family that I didn't try to be a better dad than his own dad? God rest his soul. That I didn't try to protect Jackie Jr.? That I didn't smack him around because I was so frustrated? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Meadow: I'm through telling people you help with environmental clean up
Tony: That's not what I asked you
Meadow: Like you can talk honestly for three fucking seconds
Tony: You try me!
Meadow: I made my plans and I'm going to Europe and getting the fuck out of here

- Did you at least register for classes?
- I will.
- Oh, just go.
- Hi.
- There's some guy in your driveway with a ponytail?
- What is his story?
- Hi, Mrs. Sop.
- Hello, misty.

- Ralph told this funny fucking joke, though, at Albert's party.
- He goes, "Ginny sack...
- Had a 95-pound mole surgically taken off her ass."
- He said that?
- Yeah.
- And you think it's funny?
- It's in bad taste, huh?

- It's Meadow.
- I don't know, we think maybe she ran off to Europe.
- Europe?
- Yeah.
- So you got a minute?
- Who's that?
- Nobody, go back to sleep.
- Oh, hey, sil.
- How you doing, hon?

- I like your pants. Leather?
- Yeah, I got them at bebe.
- Fucking packed tonight.
- Let's celebrate.

- Still in all, good work, ciccerone.
- Yeah, right. Thanks.
- You know what the problem is, right?
- She gave moltisanti a hard-on.
- So, what do we do?
- Hire only schifosas?
- You know, I had a dream about her the other night.

Adriana: Am I under arrest?
Bureau: Not at this time. But that can all change momentarily
Agent: [while sliding the warrant across the table to her] that's a search warrant. Your office and your cocaine
Adriana: It's not my cocaine
Agent: Really? It's not what I have you saying on tape
Adriana: You were fuckin taping me?
Agent: If I were you, I'd put aside my hurt feelings for a while
Adriana: I told you shit in confidence: nothing that had anything to do with any of this shit
Agent: We're offering you a way out. A chance to save your life and Christopher's life
Adriana: You don't give a fuck about us. You and your OBGYN doctor. You just want me and Christopher to stay together long enough so you can find shit out
Bureau: We understand your fiancée is moving up in the world: or down as the case may be
Agent: Problems at the Esplanade construction site
Adriana: Oh my God
Bureau: We're not asking you to wear a wire. We're not asking you to testify. We just want information
Adriana: [to Deborah Ciccerone] is your name even "Danielle"?
Agent: [Remains silent]
Adriana: What if I say no?
Bureau: If you say no, you'll be placed under arrest and charged with possession and intent to distribute cocaine: a charge that carries with it a penalty of up to twenty-five years in prison
Adriana: Oh my God
Agent: After you make bail you can explain to Tony Soprano why you brought an undercover federal agent into his home during Sunday dinner
Adriana: Oh my God
Agent: We'll probably never hear about it though. Chances are you and Christopher will just "disappear."

- It's my right to go to Europe.
- That's what she said.
- I don't care what she said.
- She's totally irresponsible.
- What?
- The therapist told her it is her right to go to Europe.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- She actually thinks this is a good idea...?

Little: [at the prison visitation booth] Ralph told this funny fucking joke though, at... um... at Albert's party. He goes, "Ginny Sack had a 95-pound mole surgically taken off her ass."
Paulie: He said that?
Little: [laughing] Yeah.
Paulie: [angrily] You think it's funny?
Little: That is in bad taste, huh?

- Game.
- Where you going?
- Come on, Ralph, I'm tired.
- Come on, one more.
- Come on.
- Come on, a little fucking defense, huh?
- Hook shot.