The Best Captain Kirk Quotes

Captain: Dr. McCoy, this man needs medical attention.
Dr. McCoy: Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not eh... oh! Oh, sure.

Captain: Mr. Sulu, what happened to the Russian dressing?
Sulu: The dispenser is jammed, captain. It will take days to repair.
Captain: We don't have days!

Captain: Hello, I'm Captain Kirk, I understand you're having trouble with your order?
Diner: Yes I am, I ordered a Klingon and they give me this fried clam sandwich.
Captain: Ma'am, a Klingon is a fried clam sandwich.
Diner: Well now I thought it was a lobster salad sandwich?
Captain: Eh, no. That's a Romulan man.
Diner: Well then you must've changed the names, because...
Diner: We didn't change the name, ma'am!