The Best Frank Quotes

Frank: [Unrated version only] You had sexual intercourse on a pile of raw hamburger meat that we're supposed to sell to the public for their Fourth of July barbecues.
Ted: I fucked her with a pack of Freedent. Then I put it back on the shelf and a senior citizen bought it.
Frank: That took guts. We need guts. I'm naming the store after you.

Frank: [to Ted in his office] I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to let you go.
Ted: [Taken aback] What? Why? I've been bursting my ass at this job for three years!
Frank: I just got a call from the Labor department. I can't legally keep you on as an employee... because I've been informed that you're technically...
Ted: [Finishing the sentence] Technically not a person. Yeah. Jesus Christ.
Frank: I'm sorry. But as of today you're fired.