100 Best Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Quotes

Carina: I'm not looking for trouble!
Captain: What a horrible way to live.

- Brightest star in the North gave me my name.
- That would be Carina.
- Carina Smyth.
- So you do know your stars.
- I'm a captain.
- I know which stars to follow home.

- Horses?
- Oh!

- What could possibly go wrong, eh?
- So this was your plan?
- To be tortured and killed by pirates.
- You said you needed a ship.
- You call this a ship?
- Cut the shard!

- You're going to read that wall for me or you will die.
- The British Empire will have the Trident and rule the sea.
- I want to know where that pirate is going with that witch.
Shansa: Your destiny is in these stars.
- I will set your course.

Henry: [about shotgun wedding] Wait. Surely... this is not legal.
Captain: This is not legal.
Carina: He's right. Does any man here object to these nuptials?
Captain: I do.
Priest: Congratulations, you may kiss the bride!

- What are you?
- Death.

Carina: "To release the power of the sea...
- "all must divide."
- It's an island.
- The stars lead to an island.

- Prepare to drown!
- Me dear beloved crew, finally, today is...
- Something's gone wrong.

Captain: Tell me what you want.
Captain: I want my compass... 216 barrels of rum, and the monkey.
Captain: You want Jack?
Captain: Dinner. I want to eat him. I want to eat that monkey!
Captain: [gags Sparrow] No deal, Jack. A clever young woman such as that would never believe that a swine like me could ever be her blood.

- Hola, Sparrow.
- Oh, no.

- Thank you.
- I remember you.
- Sirs. Thank you.
- Oh, good. Master Gibbs.
Gibbs: The ship is yours,
- Captain.
- Ah, thank you.

- I'd kill to be stoned right now.
- Gets the crowd involved, doesn't it?
- I should like to speak to Victor in Disembowelment.
- I should like to speak to...
[STAMMERS] I'm not one to complain normally, but this basket's full of heads.

- Find that wicked lass, or you'll swing in her place.
- Sir.
Soldier: Sir.
- No man nor an army... can ever rob the gold from Saint Martin.
- Open the vault.

Captain: He took everything from me... and filled me with rage.
- And pain.
- And here is where the tale ends.
- Not yet, Capitán. There!
- Found as promised.

Carina: Where is it?
- It has to be here.

Captain: Where is Jack Sparrow?
Captain: Jack be sailing for the Trident.
Captain: No, the sea belongs to the dead.
Captain: The Trident controls the seas.
Captain: NO! No! There is no treasure, there is no treasure that can save him! He will die, as will you!
[draws his sword]
Captain: I be the only one that can lead you to him! I declare you shall have Jack's life by sunrise on the morrow. Or you can take me then. Do we have an accord?
[pause]
Captain: Take me to him, and you will live to tell the tale.
Captain: You have my word. I thank you, on behalf of me crew.
Captain: [laughs] Olé!
[taps his sword]
Captain: You can take what's left of them. The living come aboard!

- Pirate!
- Pirates. [JEERS]
- Pirate!

- If we had something sharp,
- I could pick that lock.
- You're not gonna find anything sharp in here.
- Keep still, you bilge rat.
Scrum: Captain!
- No, please! I don't wanna be captain any more!

[Salazar is going to kill barbossa because Jack escaped him]
Captain: You promised me Jack's blood!
Captain: But Jack is trapped! He can never escape the island...
Captain: It's still land!

- is pretendin' to be a map?
Murtogg: Sir, there is no island on any map to support what the woman says.
- Captain, you don't have to understand her.
- Just believe her.
- JACK SPARROW: Anyone?

Captain: Who are you?
Henry: My name is Henry Turner. Son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.
Captain: Ewww. You're the evil spawn of them two.
[pause]
Captain: Does mummy ever ask about me?
Henry: No.
Captain: Oh go on. She call my name in her sleep?
Henry: She never spoke of you.
Captain: Are you sure we're talking about the same people? He's a cursed eunuch. She's golden-haired, stubborn, pouty lips, neck like a giraffe, and two of those wonderful...
Henry: Yes! Yes, it's her.

- But is there a reason... as captain, you've chosen to sail in this unreasonable direction?
- Tell the men to prepare to be boarded... to stand their ground and show no fear.
- Capitán, a ship sails toward us.

Captain: Aah! Monkey!

- Did you know that they invented mayonnaise?
- How bad could it be?
- It's French, eh?
- Oh, well, then.
- I've changed me mind!
- No, please!
- Have mercy upon me!
[STAMMERS] I'm a bed-wetter.

- live.
- You want me to surrender?
- Maybe.
- This is where the tale ends.
- No!
- Shh.

- Release 'em!
- Sir, you wouldn't allow... a woman to steer your ship?
- She will follow her star, or we'll all die together.

- Keep rowing, man.
- Faster. Faster.
- No. That's it.
- I'm going with her.
- You would leave me for some horologist in her knickers?
- Yes.
- You men are all alike.

Captain: [to the only survivor of a ship he attacked] Jack Sparrow...
[holds up a wanted poster of Jack Sparrow]
Captain: Do you know this pirate?
Henry: Only by name.
Captain: For too many years the Triangle has cursed us, condemned us to this Hell on Earth. The key to our escape is Jack Sparrow, and the compass which he holds. No, no. No need to fear, me boy. I always leave one man alive, to tell the tale. Find Sparrow for me and relay a message, from Capitan Salazar.
Henry: Salazar.
Captain: Tell him I'll behold the daylight again. And on that day, death... death comes straight for him. Would you say that to him, please?
Henry: Yes.
Captain: I wish I could tell him myself, but dead men tell no tales.

Captain: One ship was trying to escape through the smoke. And there, in the crow's nest, there was this young pirate boy. He stood there, looking like a little bird... And from that day he earned himself a name that would haunt me for the rest of my days... Jack the Sparrow.

- Who am I to you?
- Treasure.
- Hold on!
- Hector!

Uncle: If they disembowel you, ask for Victor, he's got the softest hands.
Captain: Thank you!
Uncle: Mention my name, and they won't cut your feet off.

- Pirates had infected the seas for generations.
- Taking the life of my father and his father before.
- So I vowed to end this plague once and for all.
- And that is what I did.
- I destroyed dozens of ships.
- The last ones joined together to try and defeat me!
- But they soon realised it was hopeless.

- I'd string you from the yardarm.
- On deck.
Soldier: Hold steady, helmsman!
- Jack Sparrow.
- He's dead.
- Buried in an unmarked grave on the Isle of Saint Martin.

Scarfield: Get another noose!
- Did you think you could defeat us, boy?
- No, sir.
- I'm just the diversion.
- Fire!

- My job is to protect this island and these waters.
- And your sleeves have been ripped.
- The mark of treason.
- We were attacked by the dead...
- You're a coward who ran from battle.
- And that is how you'll die.

Captain: My name is Captain Barbarossa. And I stand before you, with cordial intent.
Captain: Cordial intent... do you hear that? This pirate wishes to be cordial. So let me show you what my cordiality is, hombre. Every time I tap my sword, one of your men will die. So I suggest you speak quickly.
[taps his sword]
Captain: Olé!
[Barbossa's crew start dropping like flies]
Captain: Might want to go a bit faster, Capitan.

- Executed?
- I will never set foot in this town again, sir.
- You mark my words.
Soldier: Dead now, you cur.
- JACK SPARROW: I do mean it, you know.
- I shall never be back here again.

Lieutenant: Capitán!
- Capitán!

- Barbossa.
- My name is Barbossa.

- Look, Jack. There it is.
- JACK SPARROW: The Trident.
Henry: Jack!
- Huh?

Will: Henry...
- I'm sorry.
- But my curse will never be broken.
- This is my fate.
- You must let me go.
- I love you, son.

Murtogg: I think we should tell each other where our treasures are buried, just in case one of us survives.
Mullroy: Oh, good idea.
Murtogg: You go first.
Mullroy: My treasure is buried between two crossed palm trees in an unmarked grave in Aruba. What about yours?
Murtogg: I haven't got any.

Soldier: Move out!
- JACK SPARROW: Think
- Captain Jack's washed up, eh?
- I've not had a wash in years.
Soldier: Check the alley down there.
- You two, check the church.
- The rest of you, with me.
- Bugger.

Captain: [sees Carina's diary] Where did you get that from, Missy? I know this book, stolen from an Italian ship, many years ago.
Carina: Stolen? No, you're mistaken.
Captain: There was a Ruby on the cover, I would not soon forget.
Carina: This was given to me by my father. He was clearly a man of science.
Captain: He was clearly a common thief.
Carina: The memory of my father will not be befouled by the tongue of a pirate! This diary is my birthright. Left to me on the steps of a children's home. Along with a name, and nothing else.
Captain: Oh, so you are an orphan? What be you called?
Carina: The brightest star in the North gave me my name.
Captain: That would be Carina?
Carina: Carina Smith. So you do know your stars?
Captain: I'm a captain. I know which stars to follow home.

Mullroy: The entire fleet is being sunk. And we'll soon be dead.
Scrum: And quite possibly out of business.

Captain: Mercy? Mercy?
- There's no mercy.
Lieutenant: Make ready!
Pirate: Please, help us!
Captain: Adiós!
- Fire!

- I've got it!
- I'm robbing the bank!
- Shoot him!
- Ooh!
- Come on!
- Pull!
- Pull!
- Come on!

Carina: My calculations are precise and true. I'm not just an astronomer. I'm also a horologist.
Captain: No shame in that, dear. We all have to make a living.
Carina: No, I'm a horologist.
Scrum: So was my mum. Although she didn't crow about it quite as loud as you.

Henry: Carina!
Henry: Carina!
- Henry!
- They took Henry!
- The Trident be all that can save him now.
Carina: Then we have to find it.

Uncle: Have I ever told you about the one with the skeleton?
Captain: Yes, you have, many times...
Uncle: A skeleton goes into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop!
Captain: ...Funny as ever.

- That was not part of the plan.
Soldier: After him!
- Don't let him get away!
Gibbs: Yo! Come on!
- Oh, oh!
- WOMAN 1: Well,
- I got this mutton, didn't I?
- WOMAN 2: Oh, that was too expensive.

Captain: [realizing that Carina is Barbossa's daughter] Smyth? Smyth is quite an unusual name. Did we not once know some one called Smyth?
Captain: Shut your trap!
Captain: What was her name? It's on the tip of me tongue.
Captain: [Unsheathing his sword] Do you want to lose that tongue?
Captain: Margaret Smyth! Should we make an accord then? Or should I tell you-know-who what we both know to be true?
Captain: We both take this secret to our graves!
Captain: Oh! You mean it's true? I was bluffing.
Captain: I'm not!

- Do we have an accord?
Mullroy: Well, I'm not going in there to tell him.
Murtogg: It was your idea.
Mullroy: No, it was my idea for you to tell him.
Murtogg: He likes you more than me.
Mullroy: He doesn't like anybody.

Carina: This ship. Those ghosts. There can be no logical explanation.
Henry: Myths of the sea are real, Carina. I'm glad you can finally see you were wrong.
Carina: Wrong? Perhaps I had some doubts.
Henry: This is the worst apology I've ever heard.
Carina: Apology? Why would I apologize?
Henry: Because we've been chased by the dead, sailing on a ship, raised from a bottle. Where is your science in that?
Carina: Fine, I will apologize.
Henry: Go on, then.
Carina: Well then, one could argue that you owe *me* an apology, as my life has been threatened by pirates and dead men.
Henry: Which you now believe in, sorry to say.
Carina: Apology accepted.

- Nothing could stop the Silent Mary.
- Hit them below the water line.
- Vamos! Vamos!
- Hang on, boys!
- The sea was finally pure.
- Their wretched flags would no longer stain the sea.

- Oh, crumbs!
- Whoa. Whoa.
- Oh!
- CAPTAIN BARBOSSA: I've got you!
- Stronger.

[Jack is to be executed]
Captain: Guillotine? Sounds French. I love the French! How bad can it be? It's French.
[sees what the guillotine actually is]
Captain: Oh, that bad. I've changed me mind!
[is frog marched up to the guillotine platform]
Captain: You mean I have to walk up stairs as well for this?
[is strapped to a body board]
Captain: Here's an idea, how about a good old-fashioned stoning? I'd kill to be stoned right now!
[gets put in the guillotine]
Captain: I'm not normally one to complain, but this basket is full of heads!

Gibbs: Face it, Jack. Bad luck dogs you day and night.
Captain: That is a blatant fabrication!
[Bird poop lands on Jack's shoulder]

- This island is a perfect reflection of the heavens.
- One star's missing.
- Quickly!
- We have to find the Trident to save Henry.
- Hector,
- I think you should know, she's a horologist.

- Oh!
- Ow.

Captain: We are free!
- Now, now.
- It's time to hunt a pirate.
- Pirate's life.

- death will come straight for him.
- Would you say that to him?
- Please?
- Yes.
- I wish I could do it myself, but... dead men tell no tales.

Carina: My calculations are precise and true. I'm not only an astronomer, I'm also a horologist.
Captain: No shame in that dear. We all have to earn a living, eh?

- Henry!
[MUFFLED] He's walking on land. Please.
- Henry, wake up.
- Oh, piss off!
- JACK SPARROW: Whoa!
- Henry, wake up.
- He's killing Jack.

- JACK SPARROW: Still rather be stoned! [SCREAMS]
- Reload!

- Divide.
- Henry!
- Divide. Break.
- Break the Trident and you'll...
- BOTH: Break every curse at sea.

Henry: [from trailer] I saw her ankles.
Captain: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.

- and when he was dead,
- I would finish finally with the pirate's life.
- Follow him in.
- JACK SPARROW: To the gallows.
- Grab some lines.
- Prepare the bootleg. Portside.
- Throw it now.

Captain: Pirate's life.
[raises glass of rum]

- Doesn't seem to be working!
- No, we'll be fine.
- We'll be fine.
- Vamos!
- How do they do that?
- We have to swim for it.
- I'll distract them.
- Now!

- Carina!
- Henry, look!
- The island is there.
- You found it!

- You'll pump the bilge and fill the scuppers.
- We're chasing down pirates!
- Henry, get back here.
- You don't wanna get kicked off another ship.
- It's a Dutch barque.
- Probably stolen by the Pirate Bonnet.

- No, it has not.
- Listen not to him.
- Carry on. Carry on.
- Why? She was almost finished.
- I saw her ankles.
- You'd have seen a lot more if you'd have kept your cake hole shut.

- It's up to you now, Jack.
- This compass points towards what you want most.
- Never betray it.

- I'm going to the lookout.
- I'm glad you see it my way.
- Twelve degrees to port!
- Ready the guns.
- Aye!
Officer: Ready the guns!
- Those pirates are going for the Trident.

Carina: Give me my diary
Captain: Give me The Map That No Man Can Read
Carina: If you could read it then it wouldn't be called 'The Map That No Man Can Read'
Captain: Most of the men on this ship can't read, which makes all maps 'The Maps That No Man Can Read'
Carina: If you can't read it then you have no use for it, or me

First: Sir, there's something in the water.
- Ship to starboard!
- That's no ship, sir.
- It's a shipwreck.

- Get ready!
- Get ready for it!
- It's coming!
- It's coming!
- It's coming, it's coming!
- Stand aside! Stand aside!
- It's coming!

Shansa: The price of crossing my door is blood, Captain.
Captain: That explains why you're not so busy.
Shansa: Everyone pays, eventually.
Captain: Shansa, you and I made a bond long ago. I saved you from the gallows, remember?
Shansa: And I cursed your enemies. But now you come to me with fear. As the dead have taken command over the sea.
Captain: And what would the dead be wanting with me?
Shansa: Not you, Captain. They're searching for a sparrow.
Captain: Jack?
Shansa: Jack who sails for the trident... With a girl and a Pearl.
Captain: The trident can never be found.
Shansa: The trident is Jack's only hope. The dead are conquering the sea, unable to step on dry land. Maybe you should retire to the countryside.
Captain: You mean grass, on a farm? Milking a cow, making cheese? While they sink me treasure?
Shansa: Ask yourself this, Captain: Is this treasure worth dying for?
Captain: I'm a pirate. Always will be! So how do I save what be mine?

Captain: I have heard stores of a mighty Spanish captain who sunk and killed thousands of men...
Captain: No no no no! Men, no! Pirates!

- I'm sorry, sir.
- This one is clearly disturbed.
- Sir, trust in what I say.
- Change your course.
- You dare to give me orders, boy?
- Arrest him!
- Turner!
Henry: I will not let you kill us all.

- You want Jack?
- Dinner. I want to eat him,
- I want to eat that monkey...
- No deal, Jack.
- A clever young woman such as that would never believe... that a swine like me could ever be her blood.
- And the Trident will be mine.

- It's shrunken.
- Why doesn't it unshrink?
- Maybe it's cold, huh?
- She needs the sea.
[SIGHS] She was a fine ship.

- No, I do not savvy.
- Who hurt you?
- By the way, that little sliver of knowledge will cost you five pieces.
- I'm not paying you for that.
- Never say that to a woman.

- You all right?
- I don't know.
- For a moment,
- I had everything, Henry.
- Now, it's all gone again.
- It's not all gone, Ms Smyth.

- JACK SPARROW: The island.
- Land.
- Get to the Mary!

- Like the map?
- I have to find it.
- It's the only link to who I am.
- Who my father was.
- So we've both spent our lives searching for our fathers.
- Perhaps you and I are closer than you think.

[CHUCKLES] Huh?
- You cut me, you cut the boy, Jack.

- Let me look at you, son.
- How did you do it?
- How did you break the curse?
- Let me tell you a tale.
- A tale of the greatest treasure known to man.
- That's a tale I wanna hear.

- Right then.
- You're all dismissed. Eh?
- All of ya, dismissed.
- You'll never sail with
- Captain Jack Sparrow again, tell you that.

Cremble: You've lost your luck.
- You've lost your ship.
- Now, you've lost your crew.
- Jack Sparrow is no longer our captain.
- I'm sorry, Jack.
- But we've reached the end of the horizon.

Lieutenant: Capitán, what's happening?
- Jack Sparrow.
- Jack Sparrow has given away the compass.
- Daylight. Daylight.

- on me honour.
- Honour? What honour, hombre?
- What honour?
- You don't know what honour is.
- Spare me my life, and I'll fetch you the Sparrow.
[IN ENGLISH] An accord?

- CAPTAIN BARBOSSA: Capitán Salazar...
- I hear you be looking for Jack Sparrow.

- CAPTAIN BARBOSSA: She comes starboard.
- We shall fight to the last.
- The Pearl will not be taken from me again.
Officer: Sir.
Scarfield: Only the British Empire will hold to the power of the sea.

- Thank you.
- Die!
- Come here, you pirate scum!
- Hey, hey!
- Oh, no.
- What are you doing?
- No, no, no!
Carina: Careful!

- The fastest ship I know, the Pearl... trapped in that bottle by
- Blackbeard five winters ago.
- By the power of that blackguard's sovereign blade...
- I hereby release the Black Pearl to her former and rightful glory.

- You're drunk!
- And you're sleeping.
- My point exactly!
- I am doing two things at once.
- You can't save the unsaveable, mate.
- Like it or not, Jack, you're going to help me.
- I will break my father's curse.
- Next time you raise a sword, boy, be the last to die.

Henry: Maybe Jack was right.
Carina: About what?
Henry: The unscratchable itch.
[he goes to kiss her and she slaps his face]
Henry: Why did you do that for?
Carina: Just checking it's truly you. That you're not just a ghost.
Henry: It's me.
Carina: Then I was...
Henry: Wrong.
Carina: Slightly in error. Although one...
Henry: [now he kisses her] Apology accepted.