30 Best Superhero Movie Quotes

Uncle: [lovingly] Your thighs look like warm cottage cheese someone threw up on a hot sidewalk.
Aunt: And you've always had a tiny penis.
Uncle: Well, what does it matter when you're in love?

Rick: Now I'm never gonna know the secret to becoming a superhero.
Mrs. Xavier: You wanna know the secret? Come close.
[smacks Rick]
Mrs. Xavier: Make a costume, shithead!

Jill's: [shouting from a window] You're a whore, just like your mother!
[Jill's mother goes back inside]
Rick: Who was that?
Jill: My mother.

Professor: But pumpkin, I don't see nobody.
Mrs. Xavier: Don't call me pumpkin. It ain't Halloween.

King: Ladies and gentlemen, our first award is for the medical breakthrough of the year. For his company's pioneering work in the field of feminine hygiene, I award Lou Landers douche bag of the year.

Dr. Strom: Unless you add some serelium! Then you could create a device powerful enough to draw the lifeforce out of thousands of people and enhance your own cellular capacity!
Lou: Strom, you're a genius!
Dr. Strom: [being modest] Wikipedia

Tom: [clapping with each syllable to emphasize his point] Old MacDonald had a farm and Bingo was his name - o.

Rick: [Rick sees that Lou is coughing blood] Are you okay, Mr. Landers?
Lou: Oh, I'm fine, son. This is just healthy cough-blood!

Lunatic: Job? How dare you come in here and ask me for a job? I'm the editor-in-chief!
[the lunatic editor gets gently carried away]
Lunatic: I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future! Rosie O'Donnell is my mentor!
Actual: [comes in] Sorry about this. We share the building with a mental hospital.

Tom: [extended, deleted Tom Cruise scene] Y'know, uh, this "hero", this, uh, this "Dragonfly"... he's not the answer, okay? I'm the answer. I got, uh, I'm just... whew. Y'know, and, uh... heh. I'm... I'm the way to, to happiness. Okay? I'm the way to, I'm the way to peace. I can, I can, uh, I can unite cultures. I can eat... planets. I mean, I can just, um,
[snaps fingers; laughs]
Tom: Dragonfly's not a superhero, okay?
[laughs]
Tom: I am.
[laughs; claps]
Tom: Guy can't even fly, you kiddin'?
[laughs; abruptly stops]
Tom: I can fly, okay? I can fly. He sees an accident, he's just gonna run by. I'm gonna STOP, 'cause I'm a hero. Now today, there aren't a lot of accidents, so you gotta make accidents. I like to throw... little nails in the street, and an accident happens. And I'm the ONLY one who can run up there and stop it. Ooh! BAM!
[laughs; claps]
Tom: [off-screen interviewer: "I just wanted to ask you-"] Stop. Just shut up. Shut up. Hey!
["There's a rumor about-"]
Tom: Hey-
["That you wanted to-"]
Tom: Stop.
["You did claim, however-"]
Tom: Stop.
["Okay, but you did say, you agreed to be here, and you said that you would talk about this-"]
Tom: Shut. Up.
[facing backwards]
Tom: What is this place? Seriously... why are there no clocks in here?
[suddenly asleep]
Tom: [off-screen interviewer asks, "Tom? Tom?"]
[suddenly awake]
Tom: There was a farm who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-O! YEAH!
[laughs]
Tom: I'm, uh, I'm okay.

[after Aunt Lucille farts through Rick and Jill's conversation, Hourglass breaks through the window]
Hourglass: Sorry to drop in uninvited.
Rick: It's okay. We were hoping someone would open a window. It was getting stuffy in here.

Uncle: Rick, the hero's path is dangerous. You may fail or you may fly. All that matters is that you do it for the best of reasons. Helping others, Rick, that's what makes you a real hero.

Uncle: With great power comes... ow!
Rick: Great responsibility? Try to breathe!
Uncle: I can't. You're kneeling on my balls!

[Rick, Aunt Lucille, Jill, Lou and Lance are sitting down for their Thanksgiving dinner]
Lou: [Lou looks at Rick's arm and sees a cut on it] What happened to your arm?
Rick: Uh... A bike messenger knocked me down.
Rick: I see your wrist is bandaged.
Lou: Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee.
Lou: And you have a cut on your lip.
Rick: Uh... My crack pipe broke.
Rick: You have a scratch on your neck.
Lou: Yes, I met a girl on Craig's List.
Lou: And you have a bruise on your neck.
Rick: I met a guy on Craig's List.
Lou: I'm sorry Lance, but we have to go.
Lance: Why?
Lou: I... shot my pants.
[Everyone looks at Lou in total shock]
Lance: I'll drive.

Uncle: How can you say that? I've been like a father to you! I raised you, just like your father did! I believed in you, just like your father did! I slept with your mother, just like your father did!

Jill: There's something you're not telling me, isn't there? Something secret, something locked away. deep inside.
Rick: Well, there is...
[hears voices echoing in his head]
Aunt: Keep your identity a secret, Rick... Rick... Rick...
Trey: Dude, you're like a real superhero, man... man... man...
Uncle: Once a month you'll bleed from your vagina... vagina... vagina... vagina...

Lou: [before death] Oh fuck.

Lunatic: No, *you* listen to *me*! I want that story on my desk or you're fired!
[hangs up to phone]
Lunatic: Who the hell are you?
Rick: I was wondering if you had a job opening...
Lunatic: Job? How dare you come in here and ask *me* for a job! *I'm* the editor in chief! I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future! Rosie O'Donnell--!
[two male nurses carry him out]
Actual: Sorry about that. We share the building with a mental hospital.

Lou: Strom, do you have my test results?
Dr. Strom: Yes, sir. Whatever you're doing to your... victims rejuvenates you, but only for 24 hours.
Lou: Hmm. What if I killed 28 people in one session? Would that give me a month to live?
Dr. Strom: If it were February, yes, but only if your cells could absorb that much energy at once, and they can't. I'm afraid you have to kill each day to live each day.

Uncle: [to Rick about a book on puberty] There are mood swings, fluid retention, and once a month you'll bleed from your vagina.
[awkward pause]
Uncle: This may be the wrong book.

Dr. Stephen Hawking: My nurse is a lesbian and not the hot kind.

Jill's: You're a whore just like your mother.
Rick: Who was that?
Jill: My mother.

Lou: I've never been married.
Jill: [hold up fruitcake] Fruitcake?
Lou: No. Just haven't met the right woman.

Rick: See, you're not even in my top five!

Lou: [Lou Landers plots to steal cerillium from Hawkings' lab] I could just walk right in.
Dr. Strom: You're going to steal cerillium?
Lou: No, not me. But perhaps there's someone inside me. Someone who will at any cost... survive!
[evil laugh, Lou picks up an hourglass and breaks it]
Lou: Ow, ow! Glass in my eye! Glass in my eye!

Dr. Stephen Hawking: If there is one lesson my life can teach, is it that the spirit is stronger than the body. The hero comes from within.
Dragonfly: Those are Celine Dion lyrics.

Lance: [to Rick] Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit.

Undertaker: This is gonna be difficult for you but you've got to identify the body.
Rick: This isn't my aunt.
Undertaker: Yes. That's why it's going to be difficult.

Lou: What happened to your arm?
Rick: Oh. Um, a bike messenger knocked me down. I see your wrist is bandaged.
Lou: Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee, and you have a cut on your lip.
Rick: Um... my crack pipe broke. You have a scratch on your neck.
Lou: Yes, I, um... met a girl on Craigslist. And you have a bruise on *your* neck.
Rick: I... met a *guy* on Craigslist.
Lou: Sorry, Lance. We have to go.
Lance: Why?
Lou: I... shat my pants.
Lance: I'll drive.

Uncle: Remember, with great power comes...
Rick: Great responsibility?
Uncle: Well, I was gonna say bitches, but if you want to be a virgin for the rest of your life...