The Best Emmet Quotes

Melanie: Anyway, I want to look a little slutty. Tonight's the big night with Alec. And it has to be perfect. *I* have to be perfect. So I spent all day getting prepped, and tweezed, and waxed. My whole body's as smooth as a porpoise.
[Emmet has entered]
Melanie: Oh, hi. Emmet. I didn't know you were here.
Emmet: No need for embarrassment. Go on, you were saying: you're as smooth as a porpoise.
Melanie: Men like that, right?
Emmet: Well, it all depends. Sometimes you like the tightly mown lawn of an English country garden, and sometimes you like the steamy jungle of the Amazon rain forest.
Melanie: Oh no! What if Alec's an Amazon guy, and I destroyed the rain forest?
Emmet: Men are not nearly as judgmental as you think. We care more about response, and enthusiasm. If you like the show, let us know.
Elka: Especially if you want an encore.

[first lines]
Emmet: To you.
Victoria: And you. I'd give you a standing O, but we already did that in the shower.
Nikki: [knocking] Emmet, I know you're in there!
Emmet: Oh, no.
Victoria: Who is it?
Emmet: Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh. She has bat-like hearing.
Nikki: I heard that.
[Nikki enters]
Nikki: Emmet, we need to talk.
Victoria: Excuse me, but who are you to barge into my trailer?
Nikki: I'm his wife. Who the hell are you?