The Best How I Met Your Mother, Season 7, Episode 10 Quotes

Kevin: We've all done bad things. It doesn't mean we're bad people.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: [Dismissing this] No that's not it...

Robin: God, I wish last night never happened.
Barney: I don't.
Robin: What do you mean?
Barney: What if this whole thing; it isn't the story of how we both made a horrible mistake and ruined our relationships. What if it's actually the story of how we got back together?
Robin: OK, I'm gonna ask you one last time. Is this what you want?
Barney: It's what we both want. Why else are we rushing to tell them what we did? On a boat. That is a terrible idea!
Robin: Barney, we tried this- and we failed. Why try again?
Barney: Because I haven't stopped thinking about you and you haven't stopped thinking about me.
Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess... 'cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Ted: Feels good to be sober again. Man, how long have we been sitting here?
Kevin: Twelve seconds, and you're in the wrong booth.
[next shot shows Ted in the booth next to their regular booth, along with two strangers]

Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Kevin: I am constantly amazed by the things you say. Entranced by the things you do. And, unlike a certain jalapeno coconut vodka martini, you're easy on the eyes. If we're together long enough, I hope that you can see yourself the way I see you.
Robin: That's a pretty good answer.

Barney: [Describing himself] Uh lets see, suits, laser tag, I say "wait for it" a lot, that's pretty much it.

- I am so sorry.
- I know I don't get any second chances, but you will always be--
- Was this a one-time thing?
- Can you tell me it didn't mean anything?
- No.

Marshall: [Having an epiphany after getting high and believing they've missed the entire Groove show] I'm sorry, Ted. I still want to have fun, but want to be a good husband and father too. Just not enough time, you know
Ted: I know, it all goes by so damn fast you know.
Marshall: We're getting old.
[sees Lily]
Marshall: Lily!
[hugs her]
Marshall: I'm so sorry that we ruined our night
Lily: What are you talking about? You've been gone for less than two minutes!

Sandy: Erika, I've been meaning to speak with you all night.
Erika: Really? What about?
Sandy: About me bending your hard little body over the railings of this boat and copulating furiously while I admire the New York City Skyline, or if you're feeling dirty we can always face towards Jersey.

Narrator: Robin's boss, Sandy Rivers, hosted this cruise every year, mostly to hit on new employees. And he found a clever way to never spend a cent.
Sandy: [on air] Up next: Another four deaths in Arizona's record-breaking heat wave. You want real record-breaking heat? Try Kristoff's jalapeno coconut martini! Muy caliente!
[breaks into a giant smile while holding up the bottle]

Kevin: I don't care about every detail from your past and I hope you don't care about mine either. What I do care about is you.

- No.
- I-I just want this whole night to fade into history, so we have to act like it never happened.
- We should go. I mean, it's a three-hour boat ride.
- What could happen?
- I'm sure that's what Gilligan said.

- And if we're together long enough,
- I hope that one day you'll see yourself the way I see you.
- That's a pretty good answer.
- Sometimes hours can feel like minutes, and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime.
- For Barney, the second that would never end was this one.

Marshall: ["Sandwich" is a euphemism for pot] I think that sandwich was laced with other stuff... like hard meats.

- Lollapalooza.
- Funkapalooza.
- Gender-diversity-awareness palooza, junior year.
- Yeah, there were some real bitches there.
- Okay, quick.
- Before Lily gets here, let's fire this up.
- No way. I promised Lily that I would be responsible.
- You're not getting your 60 bucks back.
- Give me that.