The Best How I Met Your Mother, Season 7, Episode 13 Quotes

- Shoplifter does not promote crime.
- It celebrates it.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
- Hey, Dad.
- I'm, uh, calling with some pretty big news.
- I'm pregnant.
- Great, thanks.

Marshall: [Lily is upset that her father paid little attention over the phone that she was pregnant] Hey baby, I'm sorry. I want our kid to believe that the universe is magical, you know, like my dad taught me.
Lily: You know what my dad taught me? Nothing, 'cause he was never there.
[Grabs Marshall's Enigmas of the Mystical book and makes a fake reading]
Lily: June 22nd, 1996. Brooklyn, New York: A man misses his daughter's high-school graduation. Later, she discovers that his babysitting money has been spent on a game called "Who Stole the Babysitting Money?" He never saw the irony in that. December 31st, 2011: A woman calls her father to tell him she's pregnant. He says "Great. Thanks," and hangs up on her.
Marshall: ...and after pushing her to call him, "I am a Bigfoot" is discovered in her husband's mouth.
Lily: I'm glad you're a believer baby, but I'm never gonna believe in an enigma of the mystical if I don't see it with my own eyes. Truth is, my father never taught me to believe in anything... but myself.
Marshall: Well, if it helps at all, I believe in you too.
Lily: [Slight smile] There's a pretty good chance I don't exist.

Sandy: I don't know what went wrong.
Robin: Well proposing a three way was bad, starting without us was worse, finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.

Barney: [with the failure of Puzzles, Ted, Barney, Kevin, and Doug watch the New Year's Eve countdown, and see Robin on the screen] Oh my God...
Robin: [Speaking on the broadcast] This is Robin Scherbatsky filling in for Sandy Rivers. You know, America, tonight I've been groped, slapped and puked, and until ten minutes ago, I had no idea I'd be on national television...
Kevin: [smiles] That's my girl.
Robin: ...but that's the magic of New Year's. When that clock strikes midnight, we all get a fresh start. and I don't know about you, but I could really use one. and that magic moment starts in ten.
[starts countdown]

Marshall: Lily, don't you think it's a bit narcissistic not to allow for something bigger out there? Something whose beauty and power and majesty humbles us?
Lily: God?
Marshall: Werewolves.