20 Best Shrinking Quotes

Paul: Are we done now?
Jimmy: Only if you're going to listen to me.
Paul: Well, then, we're in a tricky spot.

Sean: I ain't gonna lie, Jimmy, I've been feeling pretty fucking good. Okay? Why would we fuck with that?
Jimmy: That's my job, dude. I got a degree in 'Fucking With That.' From the university of 'All Up in Your Business.' It's actually a junior college. I'll stop.

Jimmy: What if you invited Meg and her family to Vegas to celebrate with you?
Paul: What are you, nuts? Meg's barely talking to me, and Mason is ten years old. What's he gonna do, gamble and whore?
Sean: Hey, Vegas is for families now.
Jimmy: So what he's saying is you and your grandson could gamble and whore together.
Paul: He'd never be able to keep up. I go hard.

Brian: Oh my God, these kids look so young!
Paul: At our age, everybody looks young.
Brian: 'Our' age? We are not peers!

Derek: You ever look at this tree? Her graceful trunk, her sturdy limbs... she's beautiful.
Liz: Derek, do you wanna fuck that tree?
Derek: I don't think it's legal.
Liz: Please tell me that's not what's stopping you.

Sean: Come on. I know when to walk away way more than you do.
Liz: I know. It's not my strong suit.

Dr. Julie Baram: Blood work looks good. Ah, your cholesterol has gone up a smidge. Do you remember that talk we had about eating healthier?
Paul: I do. I ignored it.
Dr. Julie Baram: Terrific.

Paul: Come on, kiddo. You don't get to dictate how other people grieve. So Gabby puts on a brave face. Who gives a shit? Me, I gotta kick and scream for awhile before I face the truth, but then I face it like a hero. But you, who knows how you grieve? You haven't even begun.
Jimmy: What are you talking about? I've been grieving for a fucking year.
Paul: No. You've been numbing. Drugs, booze, women.
Jimmy: I told you that I stopped all that.
Paul: Yeah, but you replaced it with being overly involved in your patients' lives.

Paul: Morning. What are you guys up to?
Sean: Doing the work. Like you said.
Paul: How's that going?
Sean: It sucked donkey dick.
Paul: I just told my daughter about the Parkinson's.
Sean: How did it go?
Paul: Well, she's flying down here next week to make sure I get the best possible care. So it's kinda donkey dick-ish.

Paul: Hey. Morning. You a potato girl?
Gaby: No, Paul. I am a strong, Black, potato woman.

Sean: What the fuck are you doing, man?
Jimmy: I'm celebrating! Sean, this is a victory! You didn't kill a random douchebag! That is progress!

Derek: You need me over here, babe?
Liz: No.
Derek: Oh good. Hey, Jimmy!
Jimmy: Hey, Derek!
Derek: Hey, Pam!
Pam: Hey!
Liz: No, there's no 'Hey, Pam.' We don't like Pam.
Derek: Got it. Eat a dick, Pam!
Sean: I like that guy!

Jimmy: So these types of flashbacks you're describing, super common. That's our brain's way of processing trauma.
Sean: Yeah, well, my brain is an asshole.
Jimmy: Your brain's a whole boardroom of assholes. You got the judge. You got the critic. You got that guy in the back of the room who's saying 'Eat more hot wings', even though you just had a huge dinner. I hate that fucking guy. To ever move forward, you're going to have to...
[pause]
Jimmy: I'm sorry, all I can think about right now are hot wings.

Sean: You just gonna leave your car here?
Jimmy: I'm a white guy in Pasadena; the cops will probably take it back to my house for me.
Sean: Must be nice.

Alice: Hey. Took you a long time.
Jimmy: Yeah, I had to go to like three different gas stations to find Fun Dip for Paul. He's like a junkie now; keeps talking about 'getting his sticks'.

Jimmy: Look, we know what they should do. Know why? 'Cause it's pretty fucking simple. "I get sad when I do this thing." Maybe don't do that fucking thing! We know the answer. Don't you ever just want to make them do it?

Gaby: Do you know what percentage of yourself is water?
Paul: I know what percentage of me doesn't give a shit.

Brian: I'm an attorney. You know she's underage, right?
Chet: No, no, you told me you were 19!
Jimmy: Yeah? Well she's 12.
Chet: What?
Alice: I'm not 12.
Jimmy: [as everyone leaves] You coming, Paul?
Paul: I'm not done scaring him yet.
[Intensely stares Chet down. Chet gulps]
Paul: There it is. Good night, Chet.

Paul: First you Raw Dog me at the store! Now you're Raw Dogging me in my office!
Liz: Would you please stop saying "Raw Dog."
Paul: I'll say whatever the hell I want.
Liz: [Turning to Jimmy] Tell him what "Raw Dog" means.
Jimmy: [Stammering] Sex without a Condom.
Paul: Alright, I'll stop saying it.

Paul: I told you not to go down that path with your patients, and you did anyway. Fine. It doesn't mean I have to go with you. I'm not going to talk to you about any of it.
Jimmy: But you will talk to me about potatoes.
Paul: All day long. Enjoy them spuds, bud. Boil 'em, bake 'em, fry 'em, rub 'em together and make a fire. I don't care.
Jimmy: Maybe I'll just eat 'em like an apple, Paul.