The Best Jacob Batalon Quotes

Ned: You can take the guy out of the chair, but you can't take the chair out of the guy.

Ned: Wait so you're Spider-Man too? Why didn't you just say that?
Peter: I generally don't go around advertising it. Kind of defeats the whole anonymous superhero thing.
Peter: [to himself] I literally just said that...

Ned: Peter!
Peter: Yeah? Oh, sorry, you mean
[they all point at each other]
Ned: [Confused] Peter... Peter...
Peter: [They keep pointing at each other] We're all Peter.
Ned: Peter... Parker?
Peter: Same.

Peter: No, Spider-Man isn't a party trick! I'm just gonna be myself.
Ned: Peter, nobody wants that!

[after seeing The Lizard]
Ned: Is that a dinosaur?

Ned: Yeah. Sophisticated, classy, very European.
- Oh, man.
- Let's try that again.
Brad: This is so weird.
- It was right here on my phone.
- 4..
- Yeah. Weird.
- Ow.

Peter: I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation.
Ned: Awesome.

Ned: [to Peter] You were on the ceiling!

Michelle: My friends call me MJ.
Ned: I thought you didn't have any friends.
Michelle: I... didn't.

- Into the Crown Jewels vault!
- Yeah, go, go, go!
- Come on.
Ned: Go! Into the vault!
- The walls are 8 feet thick.
- Go into the vault!
- What?
- Into the vault. Go!
- Take cover!

Ned: Here's your web cartridges.
Peter: Oh, thanks, man.
Peter: What's that for?
Peter: It's my web fluid. It's for my web shooters. Why?
[Peter 2 demonstrates his organic web-shooters]
Ned: WHOA!
Ned: That came *out* of you!
Peter: Yeah. You can't do that, huh?
Peter: No?
Peter: How on earth does that even...?

- BOSS: Jones, what are you doing?
- Get back to work.
- Yeah, I'm coming.
- Know what?
- I wouldn't change a thing I did.
Ned: Me neither.
- Although I do need to show this letter to my parents.

Peter: [on a school bus] Hey, I need you to cause a distraction.
Ned: [sees the spaceship] Holy shit. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Ned: What-What's happening?
MJ: Peter, what is it?
- Are you getting the tingle thing?
- Is the tingle happening?
- Is your tingle tingling?

Ned: [to Peter] Can you summon an army of spiders?
Peter: No, man!

Ned: Peter, are you okay?
Spider: Yeah. Just keep trying to get through to Happy.
Ned: It's been an honor, Spider-Man.
[library lights turn on]
Ms. Warren: What are you doing here? There's a dance.
Ned: Uh...
[quickly shuts his laptop]
Ned: [awkwardly] I'm... looking... at porn.

Ned: You're the Spider-Man, from YouTube!

Betty: I would totally kiss you but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Ned: I- I might have a mint.

Ned: [to MJ after she finds out Spider-Man's identity] So, you know too. It's cool. I mean, I've known first and I've known longer but, it's not a competition.

Peter: I'm sick of Mr. Stark treating me like a kid.
Ned: But you are a kid.
Peter: Yeah. A kid who can stop a bus with his bare hands.

Ned: Great, it's just some random guy.

Ned: Oh! Wait, what?
- MIT, they're the Engineers.
- The mascot.
- Oh, right, right, right.
- I should probably know that.
- Look at you with the school spirit.
- Tell anybody, I will deny it.
- Oh, okay.

- Did you guys see that?
MJ: Um, no.
Ned: It's-It's really dark.