The Best Lucifer, Season 2, Episode 18 Quotes

Lucifer: You know I don't lie, Detective.
Chloe: But you also don't tell the whole truth.

Amenadiel: Mom is not going anywhere!
Lucifer: Well, I am afraid that we do not have a choice, Brother!

Lucifer: This is the real way to move forward, Mum. To create a whole new world. Your own world, without Father.
Charlotte: What about you? Amenadiel, my children?
Lucifer: You know that if we go back to Heaven, then there will be a war. And in war... there are always casualties.
Charlotte: The last thing I want is to hurt my children.
Lucifer: I know. So, please... . Let there be light.

Lucifer: This is my fault. I should never have got you involved in any of this from the start.
Linda: It's not like I didn't know I was dealing with the most powerful, well... the most dysfunctional family in the universe. Lucifer, I walked into this with my eyes wide open, chose to be your friend and face all that comes with that. The good, the bad and the crispy.

Lucifer: [as Trixie hands a lollipop to Maze] Oh, love me a lolli!
Trixie: Sorry, wussies don't get any.
[She gives a fist bump to Maze]

- He entrusted it to you.
- Congrats on nabbing queen Tequila.
- Well, Chet's still out there, so this isn't over.
- I need what
- Zeke really smuggled.
- My life is ruined!

Lucifer: [to Charlotte] Have you ever considered finding, well, I don't know, a-a place of your own?
Amenadiel: Yeah. Somewhere away from Dad, maybe?
Lucifer: Yes. Somewhere familiar, warmer, perhaps?
Charlotte: You want... You want me back in Hell?
Lucifer: Well, not "in" Hell, per se, but in charge of Hell. I mean, after all, it is a kingdom without a ruler.
Amenadiel: He is right. I mean, there's a great opportunity for upward mobility.

Charlotte: I need medical attention. I'm wounded.
Linda: Then go to a hospital.

Lucifer: Well, maybe our poor killer's just Chaetophobic.
[Gets looks]
Lucifer: Fear of hair. Always fun when they turn up in Hell. Lots of wigs involved.

- Look, it's very difficult to explain, but believe me when I say that there are many, many lives at stake here.
- So, please, just put the gun down, huh?
Lucifer: No!
- N n“

Lucifer: [after Charlotte hurls them through Lucifer's piano] Well, now look what you've made her do. I've just had this tuned!
Amenadiel: *Me*? How about you suggesting Hell as a retirement home? Nice. Maybe if you had just mentioned the pottery class or water aerobics, she would have gone for it.

Lucifer: If we don't get you back to Heaven before the detective gets to you, then she is quite literally toast.

Lucifer: Hello, brother. I notice you've changed your look. Where's your pretty necklace?
Amenadiel: Oh, I've put it in a safe place.
Lucifer: Ah. Keister it, did you?
Mazikeen: Nope. Already checked. Not there.

- I'd rather not put Daniel in...
- An awkward position.
- Hate to ruin all the good ones we've been in.
- Can we go outside?
- Mm-hmm.
- I'll be fine.

Charlotte: My angel. I will miss you, so much.

Lucifer: It's classic Dad. Hanging the final piece of the Flaming Sword right under our noses... Well... Your nose, this entire time

Chloe: [after finding a charred body] I came here to grill Kathleen on the false alibi.
Dan: Whoa. Somebody already had, huh?

- Mum.
Amenadiel: Mom.
- Listen, I understand.
- You're angry.
- Oh, I'm not angry.
- Just disappointed.

- Okay.
- It's too far, maze.
- She won't make it.
- We need to do something.
- We need more time.
- We just need more time.

Amenadiel: So how do we find Mom... follow the trail of roasted bodies?

- What's... what's going on?
- Uh, why am I at the beach?
- You fell off the pier.
- I fell off the...?
- It's-it's okay. I got you.
- Who are you?

Lucifer: You know I don't lie, Detective.
Chloe: But you also don't tell the whole truth... Does this have to do with what you were upset about this morning, with your family?
Lucifer: Yes, but I can't explain, because you wouldn't understand.
Chloe: Not if you don't talk to me... Never mind. I thought we were past this. Going backwards, Lucifer, is not good. For anyone.

- because you wouldn't understand.
- Not if you don't talk to me.
- Never mind.
- I thought we were past this.
- Going backwards, Lucifer, is not good.
- For anyone.

Amenadiel: All of my actions, all of my feelings, they were all just based on lies. You see, I thought I had fallen, and I -
[is tasered]
Mazikeen: I don't get paid by the hour.

Charlotte: I just want a chance to start - OVER.
Lucifer: But... going HOME?... That's not starting over-that's-that's going BACKwards...
[realizing the meaning of Chloe's words]
Lucifer: ... and that's not good for anyone... so it's time for you to move forward, mum.

Charlotte: I just want a chance to start over.

Lucifer: [Arriving at Dr. Martin's office] Mum. What are you doing here?
Charlotte: Oh, you know, girl stuff
Lucifer: Naked girl stuff?

Lucifer: You have experience with emotionally fragile men, don't you?
Chloe: You're self-aware today.
Lucifer: No, I meant Dan.

Linda: Lucifer, I walked into this with my eyes wide open, chose to be your friend and face all that comes with that. The good, the bad and the crispy.

Linda: You scared me! God!
Charlotte: *Goddess*.

Chloe: If anyone can find something, it's you, Ella.
Ella: [goes to hug Chloe] Aw, that is so sweet!

Lucifer: I'm simply saying that we should be focusing on more pressing criminal issues.
Chloe: Such as?
Lucifer: Well, I'm glad you asked, actually.
[Opens newspaper]
Lucifer: The death of Celeste McDougall. Very suspicious, indeed.
Chloe: She was 92.
Lucifer: Yes, and fit as a fiddle. I mean, look at that smug face.

- Well, then we just need to find amenadiel, don't we?
- Yes.
- And get the piece.
- Because if we don't get you back to heaven before the detective gets to you, then she is quite literally toast.
- N“ n“

Charlotte: I'd rather not put Daniel in... an awkward position. Hate to ruin all the good ones we've been in.

- Amenadiel.
- You son of a bitch.
- How?
- Go.

- Suppose we're in no real rush.
- Process away.
- I think I've got et. On the dvr if you need a good weep and a pint of haagen-dazs in the freezer if that helps.
- N“ n“

Kathleen: [Carrying a body bag] I know this looks bad, but we can explain. I'm Ava. This is my sister Kathleen
Ava: Hi. How ya doin'?
Lucifer: Friendliest serial killers ever.