The Best Nicole Byer Quotes

Doug: Do you know who this is? This is Matt Daniel, the most popular male ASMR performer on Twitch.
Georgina: ASMR performer?
Doug: Someone who speaks real soft.
Trudy: [whispers] I also crinkle paper.
Doug: We're trying to stream and the noise on the eighth floor is unacceptable.
Trudy: [whispers] My fans can't hear my mouth sounds.
Georgina: I'm so sorry, I can't hear you.
Trudy: [whispers] That's the point, Georgina.
Doug: He says that's the point, Georgina.

Trudy: Wait, we destroyed your phone. How did you call for backup?
Jake: That was actually easy. When Doug was distracted, yelling at the concierge, I swapped out my waterlogged phone for his.
Doug: Damn, I would have noticed that if I wasn't trying to live in the moment and not look at my phone so much.

Trudy: What's up, Peralta?
Jake: Hey, Trudy Judy and dog Judy. What's going on? Are you puppy sitting for Doug?
Trudy: Well, I was, but I need you to take him for me, because I'm going on a little vacay, and let's just say there's going to be some activities that aren't suitable for a little dog.
[really sexy voice]
Trudy: Mm!
[beat]
Trudy: Like parasailing.
Amy: Oh. Thought you were building to something much more sexual.
Trudy: Nope, just really pumped for parasailing. Also, there's gonna be a lot of --bleep--, but the dog's okay with that.