The Best The Office, Season 8, Episode 20 Quotes

Robert: I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman.

Darryl: In the warehouse, we'd use code names for people we want to talk about. Andy was Jelly roll, Michael was Dennis the Menace, Ryan was Douchebag.
Ryan: Hey, that's not a code name, that's just an insult.
Oscar: Plus, everyone would know who you meant.
Ryan: Yeah.

Robert: Great work, team. Great party.
Kevin: You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it. Like a salad bar, Robert. How do I get this taste out of my mouth?

Pam: So we're planning this party for Nellie, and we're gonna make it really bad.
Jim: Sounds like every other party.

Nellie: God. We owned a flat together. Then one morning, just like that, he was gone. He ran off with the waitress at our favourite restaurant.
Dwight: That's awful. What kind of restaurant?

Dwight: I wonder if king sized sheets are called presidental sized in England. I really should have a tweeter account.

- Okay, quick, who says "mustache"?
- Who says "no mustache"?
- Ah! [Laughs]
- He does have one.
- Yes!
- Welcome back, Stanley.

[first lines]
Pam: Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?
Jim: Oh, great.
[reads]
Jim: "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.
Phyllis: Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.
Pam: It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his moustache.
Jim: Stanley doesn't have a moustache.
Pam: Yeah, he does.
Oscar: Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.
Pam: Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not?
Phyllis: Oh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't.
Pam: Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!
Jim: Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?
Angela: Because we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.
Pam: Okay, which one of these looks more right?
[holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a moustache]
Dwight: Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.
Gabe: [bell dings] Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?
Jim: Okay, quick. Who says moustache?
[Pam, Oscar, Dwight, and Creed raise their hands]
Dwight: Yep.
Jim: Who says no moustache?
[Jim, Angela, and Phyllis raise their hands; Gabe enters, hiding Stanley's face]
Gabe: [reveals Stanley's moustache] Ah! Ha ha ha!
Phyllis: He does have a moustache.
Dwight: Yes!
Pam: Welcome back, Stanley.
[Stanley grunts]

Creed: Best gig ever. They asked me to play only originals. I said, "Have you heard my originals? They're terrible." They said, "Even better."