The Best The Sopranos, Season 2, Episode 12 Quotes

- Vic?
- Carmela, hi.
- Imagine running into you here.
- How are you?
- Good. I'm fine. And how are you?
- Good.
- Yeah.
- Just shopping for a roller.

- Then you're gonna do your time for selling heroin.
- Then you get out and start a new life.
- It's a good thing.
- It's a lucky thing.
- Sal...
- Don't be that way.
- I can show you statistics.

Tony: [Meeting to discuss which garbage routes belong to whom] so that's it: Albert splits Nutley with Delesio Brothers and Barone here keeps everything north of Patterson, what else do we have to talk about?
Dick: Fairfield Township is taking bids next week
Richie: What's there to talk about? Fairfield's mine
Tony: Was yours. I don't give bids to the "handicapped", your fuckin deaf because I told you ten times then I find out your still dealing blow on those garbage routes
Richie: [Confused] For that I'm losing a fuckin bid?
Tony: Next time you'll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks
Jackie Aprile Jr.: Those are my father's garbage routes
Albert: Actually fellas, my cousin Larry wants the Fairfield contract, since he was family and what not, while his in jail awaiting trial
Tony: See? This is why we have a fixed bid club because everybody has a story on why they should move to the front of the line
Richie: I've been in line for ten fuckin years
Jackie Aprile Jr.: My uncle is just asking for what my father would've given him if he was boss when Richie was getting out of prison and it had nothing to do with that they were brothers: you respecting my father you should respect Richie
Tony: Those who want respect, give respect
Richie: [to Jackie Jr] See? He just told you to shut the fuck up and he told me to go fuck myself

- What's up, t?
- My future brother-in-law's a serious problem.
- How serious?
- He's dissatisfied with the leadership.
- He wants to have me popped.
- That motherfucker.
- So now I gotta decide what to do about him.

- Holy shit.
- Stop asking.
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, my god.
- I took care of it.
- That_
- That was not a marriage made in heaven.

- I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain...
- By keeping him around.
- Get it done.

- She's upstairs. Out.
- She took two nembutals.
- Ma?
- I didn't mean it, Tony.
- I didn't mean it.
- Where's the gun?
- In the cabinet.

- He's in no position to go into the unknown not knowing.
- How about you, Albert?
- You can weigh in anytime.
- I'm with him.
- All things being equal?
- No.
- Make a move against Tony soprano?
- No way.
- I don't know what to tell you.

Junior: and did my nephew say where I'm "allowed" to move the coke?
Richie: he don't give a shit about nobody but himself: this country is going through "boom times", there's more fuckin garbage than there ever was and he wouldn't let me eat
Junior: you want to cry money problems? I'm facing twenty years, I could die in there
Bobby: your gonna beat it Skip
Junior: [raises his voice to Bobby] you don't fuckin know that
Junior: [to Richie] that coke is my lifeline right now
Richie: break it down: what choice does he leave us?
Junior: [referring to killing Tony] you need allies to do what you're thinking about
Richie: Albert Barese didn't like what he was hearing and by extension, Larry Barese: the biggest fuckin crew in the family
Junior: that doesn't surprise me: Larry has had just as much time as me to think about why his under indictment and some other people "ain't"
Richie: what do you want me to do?
Junior: go talk to Ally boy "feel" him out but his a "slippery" fuck... don't " commit"
Richie: [to Bobby and Junior before leaving] I'll see ya

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [while visiting her in the hospital after she tried to commit suicide] Jesus Christ
Irina: I don't care what happens anymore
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Don't say that shit: you got your whole life ahead of you
Irina: What kind of life is there without you? To go back home? To be a dancer? Be prostitute after that? I don't want to
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [as she hugs him] Everything's gonna be alright, ok?

- Larry's thought about why he's under indictment and others ain't.
- What do you want me to do?
- Go talk to ally boy. Feel him out.
- But he's a slippery fuck.
- Don't commit.
- I'll see you.
- He's got tremendous moxie for his size.
- Tell me about it. He's a fighter.

- Put my dinner on the table, and keep your mouth shut.
- No, you shut up.
- Since he's a ballroom dancer, you think he's gay.
- What if he was?
- What difference does it make?
- Ow.
- Fuck.

["Big Pussy" calls FBI Skip Lipari]
Skip: Lipari.
Salvatore: This is Fat Man.
Skip: Who?
Salvatore: You know...
Skip: Sal?
Salvatore: I just heard about they're gonna jack a load of these "Pokieman" cards. Moltisanti and another individual.

Christopher: [to Furio as they're dismembering Richie's body in the butcher shop] It's going to be a while before I eat anything from Satriale's.

- All right, stop.
- I'm grateful to you.
- I am.
- I gave you five percent on the action that was left to you.
- Kick it up to seven and a half.
- Don't sell drugs on those routes.
- It's short-sighted.

Janice: [referring to Richie] What'd you do with him?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Sarcastically] We buried him. On a hill. Overlooking a little river. With pine cones all around.
Janice: [surprised] you did?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: oh Jesus, what the fuck?, What'd you care what we did we him?
Janice: I loved him so much
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Sarcastically] all in all, I'd say it wasn't a bad visit.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: My future brother-in-law is causing a serious problem.
Silvio: How serious?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: He's not satisfied with the current leadership. He wants to have me popped.
Silvio: That motherfucker.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So now I gotta decide what to do about him.
Silvio: I genuinely don't think there's anything to gain by keeping him around.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Get it done.

Janice: [while talking about planning their wedding and cooking in the kitchen] oh, the planner checked the almanac and said there's sixty-five historical chance of rain on the twelfth so he wanted to book the tenth as a back up so what'd you think?
Richie: I can't decide on this shit right now
Richie: [Seeing her disappointed] Janice, come on
Janice: Ok but when you start bitching when you see the bill: don't
Richie: My kid "hit" me up five grand to go to England for these dance contests
Janice: Yeah but "little Rick" is still coming to the wedding right?
Richie: [Correcting her, irritated] Rick? Richard, how many fuckin times I've got to tell you? It was "little Ricky" when he was twelve years old.
Janice: Jesus alright. His still coming right?
Richie: He wouldn't miss an opportunity to fox trot and tango in front of everybody
Janice: Ballroom dancing is a legitimate art form
Richie: [Eventually referring to Jackie April Jr] Carries my name: Richard. His a fuckin disgrace. Why wouldn't he be like Jackie? Why couldn't I have a son like that?
Janice: [Referring to her mother] you know, you came home with a fuckin attitude today. You know I've been in this house cooking your fuckin dinner and taking care of that "black hole" up stairs all day
Richie: Keep your voice down, she hears everything
Janice: Not tonight, I gave her two Nembutals because I thought we might want to have sex? But not likely
Richie: Put my fuckin dinner on the table and keep your mouth shut
Janice: Oh you shut up, just because his a ball room dancer, you think your son is gay? What if he was gay? What difference does it make?
Richie: [after punching her for insulting his values] what're you looking at? Are you going to cry now?
Richie: [after Janice leaves and returns with a gun pointing at him, before she shoots her a first time, assuming Janice is playing a joke] get the fuck out of here! I'm in no mood for your...

Janice: [after seeing him upset] What's the matter?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Jackie Aprile is man who loved knowledge, when he was dying of the cancer, he was praying his son would go to medical school. If he knew he dropped out of college... it'll break his heart
Janice: It didn't hurt the Beatles, Bill Gates: his uncle Richie is looking out for him
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to Richie's son pursuing a career path as a ballroom dancer] He should deal with his own son
Janice: Hey, don't do that. You know his taking AJ to the dirt bike championship at Giants Stadium?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: AJ can't go: he got a C in Algebra
Janice: does Carmela know about this?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Alright, you really wanna know? I don't want him around my kids
Janice: Who? Richie?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [nods] You heard me
Janice: The fuck are you talking about?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Ask Gia Gaeta
Janice: Richie told me all about that, the transmission slipped out of gear. Richie's lucky he didn't crushed by the car too and for your information, Beansie Gaeta owed him major dollars for ten years and Richie wasn't asking for the interest
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why not?
Janice: And if we're so awful, why are you throwing us an engagement party?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Because you're my sister and I try to do what's right. Anyway, it's my wife's thing
Janice: Does right include planking that little Russian girl of yours on the side?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [irritated] You know what? Being that I am, be a fuckin codependent to a fuckin shitbag, what the fuck do I care?
Janice: You know, you just can't stand to see me happy, can you? You motherfucker

- Tell me what happened.
- No, I can't say...
- What do you mean, you can't say?
- No, I can't say now.
- Think. Think a minute, okay?
- Stay there. I'll be right over.
- It's Janice.
- Right.
- I gotta go.

- You did?
- What the fuck?
- What do you care what we did with him?
- Why do you want to know?
- But I loved him so much!
- You're gonna miss your bus.
- I'm sorry, Tony. I am so sorry.
- All right. All right. Go ahead.

- That I would be sorry for forever.
- I wanted to thank you for thinking for the both of us.
- For being strong for us both.
- Thank you.
- Well, you're welcome.
- Goodbye, Vic.
- And take care of yourself.

- That palace you live in up there on that hill.
- I gave my life to my children on a silver platter.
- I suppose now you're not gonna kiss me.
- What?
- You're cruel, that's what you are.
- Oh, fuck this.
- Oh, don't... no.

- Her parents were alcoholics...
- In petrozavodsk.
- Horrible, industrial city.
- The father died, 55 years old.
- Lung cancer, cirrhosis of the liver.
- Good thing.
- Anyway, he was not working.
- The factory was closed down.
- She had to go to Kazakhstan to live with uncle. Rude, miserable man.

- Time is the great enemy.
- You've got a very short window.
- It's not good to get too hung up on any one thing.
- On the other hand, something new always comes along.
- I've seen it a million times.
- It's called passages.
- It's a book.
- He's right, irinushka.
- He's very smart man.

- Who's that speaking?
- Is somebody speaking?
- Listen, Richie.
- Let me think about this. But we can't be too fucked up by this setback.
- We gotta screw our courage to the post.
- You're a good boy, Richie.
- It's gonna be good.
- Go on home. We'll talk.

- He probably moved them by now.
- However, this engagement party for the sister?
- I'll wire you up.
- I know you're sensitive...
- What the fuck was I, his errand boy?
- The saturn, yeah.
- Looking for his kid's teacher's car.
- What is that? Any faith I had went out the window that day.

Richie: This country's going through boom times, there's more fucking garbage than there ever was.

- Bring his car to the salvage crusher.
- Cadillac.
- I'll get something.
- Hello.
- Where are you going? No, Tony!
- Please, don't go.
- I'll be right back.

- Meadow, you have a ups.
- It's up in your room.
- What are you doing in here?
- You've been gone all night.
- What the hell happened?

Junior: [while in his lawyer's office, referring to his running out of money] this bill, Jesus. I wish this trial would happen already, I'm hemorrhaging "spondulicks" here
Attorney: the minimalization process could be very good for us: we hire experts to study the wiretap tapes, former Bureau guys, very thorough. If they find "abuses", we take those findings to the judge, and possibly have all the wiretap evidence thrown out?
Junior: that's fuckin great, I know the Feds stay longer on the phone than the twenty seconds to see if the call is relevant. I hear a "click", I could be talking about root beer and sometimes they stay on forty, fifty seconds before they hang up... pricks
Attorney: but it'll cost for them to study
Junior: how much?
Attorney: two hundred plus hours of tapes analyzed, and I want to bring on "specialized counsel" to handle the wiretap litigation, "ballpark" figure?
Junior: [irritated] yeah, Wrigley fuckin Field for Christ's sake
Attorney: four hundred thousand

- Anyway, it's my wife's thing.
- Include planking that Russian girl of yours?
- You know what? Be in denial.
- Be a codependent to a shitbag.
- What the fuck do I care?
- You just can't stand to see me happy, can you? You motherfucker.
- Shove that settee up your ass.

["Big Pussy" is spying on Christopher and speaking into a dictaphone]
Salvatore: Searchlight Diner. 5:15 AM. Subject has still not left location. Sun comin' up.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I need you to give me a number of a good shrink
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Oh
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: For a girl I was seeing
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Was?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah, I broke up with her and she tried to kill herself. She drank a quart of vodka, the fuckin ambulance came, pumped her stomach, and it cost me three grand
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: She should've been seen by the psychiatrist in the hospital
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: He was a Romanian and they have some beef that goes back centuries and she wouldn't talk to him
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you feel responsible for her suicide attempt?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I was bangin her for two years
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Was that a hard chip on her?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: That's cute, do you know how many women I've been through? I don't know why I just don't say "fuck it" with this one
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why do you think?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, she's a sweet kid underneath it all. I think she's seriously depressed
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You feel for her. I'm interested in why your ending it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What'd you mean "why"? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Aren't you telling me that all the time in here?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't think I ever passed judgment on your sex life or any patient's sex life
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Even if I'm twenty years older than her? And I'm married
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Surprised by his sudden fidelity to Carmella]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What's wrong with you?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why now?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Why now? Because it's not fun anymore ok? Are you going to recommend someone or not?

- What?
- Nothing. I just...
- It's just sad is all.
- What?
- Aj didn't have the flu.
- He didn't go because Tony wouldn't let him.
- He doesn't want you around his kids.
- What happened? What was that?

Richie: [giving a toast at his engagement party to Janice] everybody, I want to thank my future in-laws for throwing me this party and I want to thank you all for coming and celebrating this historical union: the Apriles and the Sopranos. They say "It's never too late" and "All those good comes to those who wait", their right on both counts

- What are you looking at?
- You gonna cry now?
- Get out of here.
- I'm in no mood for your...
- Shit.

Richie: [to Janice after he punched her] Oh what, you gonna cry now?

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Richie] Those who want respect, give respect.

Carmela: [Referring to Tony had to suddenly leave to go to his mother's house the night before] you've been gone all night: half the morning. What the hell happened over there?
Tony: [after sitting down next to her on their couch in the living room] Janice decided to go back to Seattle
Carmela: Your kidding What about Richie? He must be devastated
Tony: Richie's "gone."
Carmela: What'd you mean "gone"?
Tony: [Implying Richie's been killed] "gone"
Carmela: Where?
Tony: Carmella after eighteen years of marriage, don't make me make you an accessory "after the fact."
Carmela: [Eventually realizes what his implying] an accessory "after the..."holy shit
Tony: Stop asking
Carmela: Oh my God
Tony: I took care of it
Carmela: That was not a marriage "made in heaven"

- I don't know what made me think I'd find anybody in an ashram in pradesh.
- But I...
- I found him right here.
- At home.
- And I just wanted to say that you knock my socks off.
- God bless, salut.

- Searchlight diner, 5:15 am.
- Subject has still not left location.
- Sun coming up.
- 5:16 am. Subjects departing searchlight diner.