The Best How I Met Your Mother, Season 6, Episode 11 Quotes

Ted: [Ted meets The Captain on his boat] Where's Zoey?
The: Well, I'm afraid she's feeling under the weather. Guess it's just you, me, and six hours in frigid international waters.
Ted: Or we could stay in dry land, hang out with some witnesses?

Lily: Anytime a single guy hangs out with a married woman there are rules that must be followed. Rule number one...
Barney: Don't use the husband's condoms, that's just rude.

Barney: [Explaining the Mermaid Theory] Mark my words, Marshall, someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive you won't be able to look her directly in the boobs.

Lily: Whenever we're alone you spend the entire time undressing me with your eyes, you even take off my shoes.
Barney: High heels chafe my shoulders.

- I think I probably didn't.
- And just like that, the fight was over.
- You know kids, friendship is funny someti--
- Wait!
- I still can't resist getting one last shot in.
- Like I said, the fight was just getting started.

Barney: Told yah, The Mermaid Theory, it's a thing. You owe me five hundred bucks.
Marshall: Did we bet on this?
Barney: Let's say yes.

Ted: Hey guys, Zoey just told me about this great Frank Lloyd Wright retrospective, who's in?
Lily: Sorry, I'm ummmm... I don't know, washing my hair.
Marshall: Running the water.
Robin: Holding the towel.
Barney: I'll be home trying to get over the fact that no one invited me to the big hair washing party.

- Me too.
- I mean, if either one of us... had even the slightest hint of feelings for the other, w-we shouldn't hang out.
- You don't, do you?
- No. Do you?
- No.

- Sure, today you see Iris as a manatee.
- But she ain't gonna stay that way.
- Marshall, your secretary's mermaid clock starts right... now.
- And it took one year, three months and 16 days.
- But eventually--

- Oh, he hates 'em.
- Captain, quick question.
- How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers?
- Ooh!
- W-What is that?
- I don't get it.
- He hates that he loves them.
- Ohh!

Robin: Right, Marsh Madness?
Marshall: No doubt, Robo Cop.
Lily: You two never hang out alone. You just made up those names right now!