The Best Night Court, Season 4, Episode 6 Quotes

Dr. Flick: [Explaining how Dan got in the coma] Mr. Feilding participated in an overly stress inducing activity.
Christine: I don't understand! What kind of activity could he have participate in? He's in bed!
[Harry gives her a look and she realizes what activity it would be]
Christine: Right.

Phil: [Bursts into Dan's room] Dan! I...
Dan: Oh, Phil, spit it out.
Phil: [Kneels bedside Dan's bed] Dan, uh...
[starts sobbing on Dan's arm]
Dan: I didn't mean that literally.
Phil: I'm so happy that you're okay.
Judge Harry T. Stone: You know, Dan, you owe quite a debt to Phil.
Dan: What are you talking about?
Judge Harry T. Stone: You needed a transfusion and none of us matched your type, so...
Dan: Oh, no!
Phil: I'm coursing through your veins even as we speak, Dan.
Dan: Oh, my God!
Phil: It's beautiful, isn't it? I am you. You are me.
Dan: Yeah, now we both got hookworm! I want you and your green, furry teeth outta here!
Phil: [Turns to Harry] He's gonna be just fine.
[leaves the room]
Dan: Ah, I can feel the Sterno pumping through my veins.

Dan: You don't get it, do you? Listen to me. No one is ever going to love me. No one is ever going to say "I love you", and do you know why? Because in order to be loved one must be able to - give... and I . can't . give. I can not. I have never been able to give. And I don't... know why.

Mac: What do you say to a man who is lying limp in bed?
Rosalind: Last night was fun; Now get lost.

Judge Harry T. Stone: Dan Fielding, you're decent. Admit it!
Dan: I will not Admit it!

Morgue: [carting a bodybag through the hospital sees Bull in a clown suit] A little advice. Change your shoes before stepping in front of a bus.
[uncovers a deceased clown]
Bull: You mean?
Morgue: Bobo got a booboo.

Dan: Harry, do you know how many women I have slept with?
Judge Harry T. Stone: Dan, it doesn't matter how many women you've slept with!
[pause]
Judge Harry T. Stone: A hundred?
Dan: You ever see the signs over the golden arches that say, "over 4 billion served"? Let's just say I'm competitive.

Judge Harry T. Stone: Okay, So you haven't found the right person so you keep looking.
Dan: [Exasperated] Harry! I have dated the State.

[sticks his head into Dan's room]
Morgue: Is he done yet?

[after Harry says, "I love you" to him, then turns to leave]
Dan: Harry, I l... I l...
Mr. Feldman: [pulls the curtain aside] You love him too! Spit it out!
[Dan just looks at him]
Mr. Feldman: Oh please, allow me.
[closes the curtain on himself]
Dan: There, I said it.
Judge Harry T. Stone: [smiles] Yeah, you did. Now try and say it to yourself.