Top 50 Quotes From Robots

[after they have assembled Rodney]
Mrs. Copperbottom: Honey?
Mr. Copperbottom: What?
Mrs. Copperbottom: What's that extra piece?
Mr. Copperbottom: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra...
[Takes a good look at the piece]
Mr. Copperbottom: [chuckles] We did want a boy, right?
[He takes the piece and a hammer]
Mr. Copperbottom: This won't hurt a bit, son.
[He hammers the piece in, Rodney cries]

Rodney: If anything goes wrong, we'll signal each other.
Fender: What kind of signal would you want? You want something kind of subtle, like...
[Whispers gibberish]
Fender: Or...
[Barks loudly like a seal]
Fender: Oh, how about this?
Fender: [Very loudly] Caw-caw! Caw-caw! R-R-R-R-R-Ricola!
Rodney: Subtle.

Mr. Gasket: So long, son. Good luck with your dastardly plans.

Tim the Gate Guard: [Rodney and Fender are flambouyantly dressed and trying to get into the Bigweld Ball by getting past Tim the Gate Guard] Uh, can I help you?
Fender: I think-a maybe you can. This is the Count Roderick von Broken Zipper. Formerly, Count Velkro! Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. Beat me until you are happy.
[Rodney slaps him]
Fender: He's happy. And I'm not feeling to bad myself.
Tim the Gate Guard: Uh, you're not on the list.
Fender: What? Once again.
[Rodney slaps him again]
Fender: Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why were not able to attend your little luau! But we are leaving in a huff!
Tim the Gate Guard: No, no! Go right in! In fact, would the Count like to hit me?
Fender: The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I shall hit you on his behalf.
[Hits Tim, knocking him to the ground]
Tim the Gate Guard: Thank you, your grace!

Crank: [Mr. Copperbottom is playing badly] Well there goes our happy ending.
Fender: Yo, it's a fusion of jazz and funk. It's called junk.

Fender: Oh, no!
Rodney: What?
Fender: We're going off the track! We're going to crash! I don't want to die!
[the sphere they are riding free falls and both scream; then the sphere lands in a catapult]
Fender: [laughing] I was just kidding! Put your head between your legs.

Fender: [Inside the Sweeper] Open the door! Open the door!
[the door opens on the chop shop]
Fender: Whoa! Close the doors! Close the doors!

Fender: [his arms have just fallen off] Oh, no, look at that, now they're arm wrestling.
[the arms are wrestling each other]
Fender: Could you please separate them? Hurry, my back itches.

Crank: Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by.

Aunt: And what's your name?
Rodney: [is mesmerized by her large derriere] I'm Rodney Bigbottom.
[beat]
Rodney: No, I mean - I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.

Fender: You consider me a friend?
Rodney: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Fender: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

Rodney: Who wants to get fixed?
[All cheer, except for a dog, who cringes]

Bigweld: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Fender: Is there anything for me?
Mailbox: Oh, I've got something for you.
[slaps Fender]
Mailbox: That's from my sister!
Fender: I recognize the handwriting.

Fender: I know that sounds bad, but I'm just doing musical arm farts. You know how to do those? They're hard to do because we're made of metal, but that's where the skill comes in.

Fender: [while running down a conveyor belt after putting on a new pair of legs, which reveal they have a skirt on them] This is so wrong... this is *so wrong*!

Mr. Copperbottom: He's got your moms eyes and my dads nose. I knew we were smart to save those parts.

Aunt: [pushes Rodney into wall with large backside] Where's your friend, dear?
Fender: He's been rear-ended.

Fender: C'mon, work with me! Work with me! More pout, less pose. That's OK, inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up.

Piper: [about Aunt Fanny] She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but once she gets fartsy...

Rodney: Something's wrong. There's some-some highly polished jerk sitting in Bigweld's chair!
Tim the Gate Guard: Yeah, and you're sitting on the sidewalk, magentized!
Tim the Gate Guard: [laughs]

[to Rodney]
Tim the Gate Guard: Boy, when you pick a lost cause, you really commit. Where do they make dreamers like you? Get lost, freak!

Fender: [taking pictures of Rodney] Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes!

Bigweld: You can shine no matter what you're made of.

Aunt: But fighting never solved anything.
Bigweld: Quitting's not so productive, either.

Fender: If I seem to be getting smaller, it's because... I'm leaving!
[runs away with Rodney's foot]

Fender: [to Rodney] You can bunk with me...
Fender: [in a campy voice] we'll ignore the gossip!

Fender: Oh, it used to be a lot worse. They used to have this giant hammer...
[Rodney screams]
Fender: Hey, they brought it back!

Piper: Fender, get out of my room!
Fender: I'm not in your room. I am now. Now, I'm not. Am. Not. Am. Not...
Piper: [sternly] Get out of my room!

[Herb has just been running through the town, yelling "I'm going to be a dad!" and runs into his house, where Mrs. Copperbottom is standing next to a window]
Mrs. Copperbottom: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.
Herb: Oh!
Mrs. Copperbottom: [holds up a box with a picture of a robot on it] But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.

Rodney: Hey Fender.
[Rodney does arm farts]
Fender: Yeah Baby, let 'er rip!
[Rodney and Fender are doing arm farts]
Crank: What are you guys, 3 years old? This is how a man does it.
[Crank does arm farts]
Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, this is how you do it.
[Piper does arm farts]
Aunt: Hey kids, get a load of this...
[does BIG farts; Everyone is grossed out]
Piper: Aunt Fanny, we were using our arms!
Crank: Ugh, light a match!
Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor...
Lamppost: [the lamppost passes out]

Rodney: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?
Bigweld: I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball.
Rodney: I'll take that as a no.

Rodney: When was the last time you got oiled?
Fender: Yeah, I can't really answer that in front of my kid sister.

Rodney: Crank, the idol of millions is gone, and no one seems to care. There should be an angry mob out there.
[angry mob runs past the window]
Fender: [Fender, Rodney and the others go out to investigate the mob] Wow! That was great, psychic friend! Now say, "Money should be falling from the sky."

Rodney: Well, then why is she called Aunt Fanny?
Fender: Couldn't call her Aunt Booty.

Watch: Don't buy us. We're fakes.

Ratchet: [as he is begging Bigweld not to fire him] The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! Wait... this isn't helping me!

Rodney: Why do you have two noses?
Fender: One's for showin', one's for blowin'.

Fender: [to Rodney] You know, my last roommate jumped out THAT window.

Bigweld: Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.
Madame: I try.

Fender: Well, good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, and if you can't make it here, welcome to the club.

Piper: Did I miss the butt wuppin'?
Crank,252: [surrounded by menacing machines, everyone freezes, staring at her and then move again] No.
Crank: Actually, you're a little early.
Piper: [the rest of the wall falls down, revealing an army of outmoded robots behind her, chanting "Rodney! Rodney! Rodney!"] Then let's get started!
Fender: Testify, sister!
Rodney: Charge!
Piper: Come on!
[All the bots move in to attack]

Madame: Who are these losers?
Fender: We, sir...
Madame: I'm a woman.
Crank: Ouch.
Fender: [Scottish accent] We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bag of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!
Crank: 'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...
[hundreds of minions appear from behind Madame Gasket]
Fender: Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?
Crank: Did you count that one?
Fender: I think so. Will you all quit moving around? It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!
Madame: While you're at it, count these!
[Ratchet's new outmode bot destroying machines come into view with Ratchet sitting on top of one of them]
Madame: As soon as we're done with you, these hit the streets!
Ratchet: This will be the last day any outmode will ever see!

Rodney: This is our moment to shine, to show them what we're made of.
Fender: In my case it's a rare metal called afraidium. It's yellow, tastes like chicken... Buck-ah!
[lays an egg]
Fender: Whoa! Didn't know I could do that!

Fender: Stick with me, kid. I know this town like the back of my hand.
[sees the back of his hand]
Fender: Hey, that's new.
[gets hit by the giant hammer]

Fender: [singing] I'm singing in the oil / I'm singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I'm just slipping in the oil / I know where I've been sent / I'm covered in lubricant... My life has been turned around. From now on, I'm a winner!
Fender: [Gets captured by the Sweeper] Wait a minute; you can't do this to me! I'm *alive*!
[singing voice]
Fender: Help!

Rodney: But I don't want my picture taken.
Fender: You don't?
Rodney: No.
Fender: That's okay, there's no film in the camera.

Mrs. Copperbottom: I told you I'd find him! It's a mother's instinct.
Herb: What instinct? He left us a note, "I'm leaving, I'll be at the train station."

Darth: [on voice box, which Diesel puts in] The force is strong in this one.
[Vader's signature breath]

Rodney: [as the dominoes are falling in Bigweld's workshop] This is more elaborate than the TV show.