100 Best Twin Peaks, Season 1, Episode 1 Quotes

- I think she knows about us.
- No. Fat chance.
- I think she's hot to trot for you herself.

- which is near my desk.
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
- Okay, okay.
- Well, I pretended to be typing, but I was typing what Mike and Bobby were saying.
- And, well, they didn't say exactly who it was they were talking about, but anyway, here's what they were saying.
- They said the person we're looking for is a biker.

- Excuse me, is there something wrong, young, pretty girl?
- They found my friend Laura lying face down on a rocky beach.
- Completely naked.
- She'd been murdered.

Pete: [about Cooper's coffee] How do you like yours?
Dale: Black as midnight on a moonless night.
Pete: Pretty black.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I suppose you want me to follow them at a discreet distance.
FBI: Harry, you're all right.

- You two had a big fight last week, didn't you?
- If I had a fight with her, if I sang songs with her, if I went skipping rope with her, what difference does it make?
- Bobby, here's how this works.
- We ask the questions, and you answer the questions that we ask.
- Briefly and to the point.

Joey: [Commenting on the arrival of Mike and Bobby] Scotty, Mutt and Jeff just crawled in.
Biker: Oh, what a wonderful world.

- Can you tell me how long she's had this box?
- I'd say about six months.
- Um, I could check for you.
- Would you, please?
- And close the door on the way out.
- Okay.
- Thank you.

- You guys got it covered?
- That's right. No sweat.
- Don't worry, I'll take you to James.
- Truman: Joey Paulson.
- That's a j.
- No, he's taking her to somebody else.
- Truman: I suppose you want me to follow them at a discreet distance.
- Harry, you're all right.

Sarah: [yelling for Laura to come downstairs] Laura! I'm not gonna tell you again! Yes I am. Laura!

- I'm so sorry.
- Okay. Okay.
- Why don't you go up to the coroner's Van and bring back that stretcher?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
- Harry, let's roll her over.

- Sold.
- Well, tomorrow comes early.
- Diane, it's 12:28 am.
- Looks like I'll be staying locally at a place called the great northern hotel.
- Sheriff's getting me a rate.
- When you least expect it.

Benjamin: We have solid information that the Packard Sawmill is going to go belly-up within a year. We're going to be able to get it for a song. One verse, no chorus.

- Well, here I am in school.
- Hey, snake.
- Hey, man, something's up.
- Where?
- Think I'm kidding?
- What, me worry?
- Bobby, you're wanted in the office.
- Who wants me in the office?
- Right now, young man.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: This is Special Agent Dale Cooper.
Dr. Lawrence Jacoby: [He removes an earplug] Gary Cooper?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Agent Cooper.

FBI: I think I saw a cottontail rabbit!
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: It must have been a snowshoe rabbit.
FBI: Snowshoe?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Right.
FBI: Snowshoe. Snowshoe rabbit.

Dale: I still can't get the taste of fish-filtered coffee out of my mouth.

- Buy you a coffee?
- Can't do it.
- If you see Donna, could you give this to her?
Nadine: Ed.
- They said those drapes would be ready by 10.
- Now, I want those drapes up by nightfall.

Deputy: Listen, the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors. Naturally, I applied because it was my civic duty... and I like whales. A routine physical revealed that I was sterile. Sure I thought that meant that I didnt have to take a bath. But then they told me the truth. Cheryl, I cant have babies. So how are you pregnant?"

- They've already scraped for particles.
- No, that's not what I'm looking for.
- Oh, no, there's nothing here.
- Not a thing.
- Don't go there.
- Don't go there.
- Ronnie?
- Ronette?

- What do you mean? She snuck out?
- Maybe you have an idea where she might have gone.
- Maybe you can help us find her.
- Oh, we'll find her.
- Don't you worry about that.
- Roadhouse.
- Let's go.

Pete: Lucy? This is Pete Martell. Lucy, put Harry on the horn.
[whispers]
Pete: Oh dear.

Pete: Oh dear. Lucy? Lucy, this is Pete Martell. Lucy, put Harry on the horn.
Lucy: Sheriff, it's Pete Martell up at the mill. Uh, I'm going to transfer it to the phone on the table by the red chair. The red chair against the wall. The little table with lamp on it. The lamp we moved from the corner? The black phone, not the brown phone.
Sheriff: Morning, Pete. Harry.
Pete: She's dead, wrapped in plastic.

- Will: You want forensics first?
- Truman: No, she's been in the water.
- Will: We'd better take some pictures.
- Andy: Who is she?
- Andy, pictures.
- Andy: Sorry.
- Then we'll turn her over.
- Andy: Sure, okay.

FBI: [He sees the Log Lady seated nearby, cradling her log and drinking coffee] Log Lady.
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Right.
FBI: [He waves to her] Hi.
[She looks away]
FBI: Can I ask her about her log?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Many have.

[introduction]
The: Welcome to Twin Peaks. My name is Margaret Lanterman. I live in Twin Peaks. I am known as the Log Lady. There is a story behind that. There are many stories in Twin Peaks - some of them are sad, some funny. Some of them are stories of madness, of violence. Some are ordinary. Yet they all have about them a sense of mystery - the mystery of life. Sometimes, the mystery of death. The mystery of the woods. The woods surrounding Twin Peaks. To introduce this story, let me just say it encompasses the all - it is beyond the "fire", though few would know that meaning. It is a story of many, but begins with one - and I knew her. The one leading to the many is Laura Palmer. Laura is the one.

- Will: Leland, I'm so sorry.
- Seventeen years old.
- Lee, I hate to put you through this.
- No, I have to see her.
- I have to see what was done to my little girl.
- Okay.

FBI: Sheriff, what kind of fantastic trees have you got growing around here? Big, majestic.
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Douglas firs.
FBI: [Marveling] Douglas firs...

Mike: Donna, you get to the sheriff's right now.
[He drives off, tires squealing]
Donna: Boy, I sure know how to pick 'em, huh.
Nadine: [Nadine opens the front door of her house and yells] Ed! You waiting for those drapes to hang themselves?
Big: Yo, okay!
[Nadine goes inside, slamming the door]
Big: Well, I know how to pick them too.

Bobby: [to James Hurley] When you least expect it...
[He and Mike Nelson bark and howl]

- Sure. I'll call up to the hotel, thanks.
- No, Bobby hasn't showed up for practice yet today.
- And come to think of it, as a matter of fact, he's been late every day this week,
- Mrs. Palmer.
- And last week.
- And maybe even the week before.

- I feel so bad.
- It's okay.
- Why don't I, uh, meet you at the roadhouse around 9:30?
- Thank you, ed.
- I'll see you tonight.
- All right, sweetheart.

- Oh, I'll need to borrow your bike.
- Oh, well, then put a little air in the back tire, would you?
- Yeah. Harriet, don't forget to brush your teeth.
- Actually, now that some time has passed,
- I like "the full blossom of the evening."

Pete: [calling the police to report the discovery of body of Laura Palmer] She's dead... wrapped in plastic...

Harry: Do you think they spotted us?
Cooper: Give me a donut.

Bobby: You think because I wasn't at football practice that I killed my girlfriend?

- You still could be. At another time.
- Oh. I understand completely.
- By the way,
- Laura's...
- Laura's parents...
- Well, they didn't know that she was seeing me. Ha, ha.

Sarah: Laura, sweetheart, I'm not going to tell you again.
[She takes a drag on a cigarette]
Sarah: Yes I am. Laura!

- It is vitally important that this not turn into a witch hunt.
- I would strongly suggest a temporary curfew for those under 18 years of age.
- Keeping your kids off the streets now may teach them a degree of caution that may protect them in the days and the weeks to come.
- I will remind you that these crimes occurred at night.

- We'll be back to check on you later.
- Good night, officers.

FBI: [Referring to an impressive array of doughnuts] A policeman's dream.

- And I mean clean.
- Okay.
- Number two, you smoke one brand of cigarettes from now on, because if I ever see two different brands of cigarettes in this house again,
- I'm gonna snap your neck like a twig.
- Okay, Leo, you have nothing to worry about with me, darling.
- That's right.

- Yeah, okay.
- Well, I know how to pick them too.
- Will you do me a favor?
- If James comes around, tell him I'm looking for him?
- And, Donna, you take it easy.
- Okay.

- Oh, my god.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, my god.
- I changed my mind.
- I'm not sorry.

Dr. Will Hayward: [He sees Bobby Briggs pretending to surf on the hood of his car with a beer in hand] You're not drinking and driving, are you?
Mike: Well we're, uh, all pretty broken up about what happened today, sir. Besides, Bobby is doing most of the driving.

- Did she say anything to you?
- She said good night.
- And I said good...
- Good night, sweetheart.

- Mrs. Horne, it might help if you talk to Johnny yourself.
- So you think it might help?
- Well, you can tell Johnny one more time that Laura isn't coming this afternoon to work with him.
- Or tomorrow afternoon or any afternoon.
- Now, what is so difficult to understand about that?

- You straightened her out yet?
- I don't know what's up with her, man.
- Forget her.
- I got it figured, Laura and her.
- That cop mentioned something about the letter j.
- We're looking at some freaking biker.
- And some freaking biker's gonna get his head busted open.
- What's his name?
- And we'll finish this quick.

Cooper: Gentlemen. When two separate evens occur simultaneously pertaining to the same object in inquiry we must always pay strict attention.

- Laura?
- Oh, for goodness sakes.
- Laura, now means now.
- Laura?
- Laura?
- Laura, honey, are you downstairs?

Bobby: Norma, see you in my dreams.
Norma: Not if I see you first.

- Has learned that his daughter, one of Laura's schoolmates, is missing since last night.
- Today, all work here will stop.
- The mill will shut down.
- Perhaps you can spend the day with your families.
- Thank you all for your attention.

Dale: [speaking into tape recorder] Diane, I'm holding in my hands a small box of chocolate bunnies.

- She came home from Bobby's and she was going up the stairs.
- Those stairs right there.
- Who's upstairs?
- Your husband and one of my men.
- I can tell from the sounds that it isn't her.

Pete: [about serving coffee to Dale Cooper and Sheriff Truman] Mr. Cooper, how do you take it?
Dale: Black as midnight on a moonless night.
Pete: Pretty black.

- Hey, snake!
- Don't take any oink-oink off that pretty pig.
- Don't you worry about that.

- Yes, he called me last night from butte.
- That's a long ways away and he ain't got a phone in his truck.
- So quit worrying and start scurrying, Mr. Touchdown.
Bobby: Butte.
- Back up.
- I'll call you later.

- My baby.
- It's my little girl.
- God, god.
- Let's get out of here.
- I can't...
- Oh, god.

- It's an "."R
- Diane, give this to Albert and his team.
- Don't go to Sam.
- Albert seems a little more on the ball.
- We need to bag and tag this.
- Okay, Cooper.
- You gonna let me in on whatever the hell is going on here?
- Sheriff, we got a lot to talk about.

- Gone fishing.
- The lonesome foghorn blows.

- when we're finished here.
- Oh, that will be fine.
- Dr. Shelvy, this is FBI agent Cooper.
- Shelvy: Glad to know you.
- Doctor, how's the girl?
- She's in shock, suffering from exposure.
- Can I see her?
- All right, this way.

One: In the darkness of futures past The magician longs to see One chance heart between two worlds Fire walk with me.

Pete: Harry? She's dead. Wrapped in plastic.

- If you go down there with the necklace and no alibi...
- What about you?
- I'll get rid of it.
- No.
- I'll hide it.
- All right. We'll Bury it.
- Okay.
- Right here.
- Okay.

Ronette: Don't go there Laura! Don't go there!

FBI: You know why I'm whittling?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Okay, I'll, I'll bite again. Why are you whittling?
FBI: Because that's what you do in a town where a yellow light still means slow down, not speed up.

FBI: Oh Diane, I almost forgot. Got to find out what kind of trees these are. They're really something.

- Bobby, if you knew who she was seeing, trust us on this, now's the time to tell us.
- Why don't you ask Donna?
- She was there with her.
- Because I'm asking you.
- Come on, Bobby. Give me a name.
- Here's a hint. First initial, j.

Cooper: Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee.

- Cooper: Looks like a hog to me.
- Truman: Holy smoke.
- Holy smoke.

- Sweetie?
- But, Lucy, it's horrible.
- Andy.
- Sweetie.
- Oh, god.

FBI: Diane, 11:30 a.m., February Twenty-fourth. Entering the town of Twin Peaks, five miles south of the Canadian border, twelve miles west of the state line. I've never seen so many trees in my life. As W. C. Fields would say, I'd rather be here than Philadelphia. Fifty-four degrees on a slightly overcast day. Weatherman said rain. If you could get paid that kind of money for being wrong sixty percent of the time, it'd beat working. Mileage is seventy-nine thousand three hundred forty-five, gauge is on reserve, riding on fumes here, I've got to tank up when I get into town. Remind me to tell you how much that is. Lunch was, uh, six dollars and thirty-one cents at the Lamplighter Inn, that's on Highway Two near Lewis Fork. That was a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat, slice of cherry pie, and a cup of coffee. Damn good food. Diane, if you ever get up this way that cherry pie is worth a stop. Okay. Looks like I'll be meeting up with the, ah, Sheriff Harry S. Truman. Shouldn't be too hard to remember that. He'll be at the Calhoun Memorial Hospital. I guess we're going to go up to intensive care and take a look at that girl that crawled down the railroad tracks off the mountain. When I finish there I'll be checking into a motel. I'm sure the sheriff will be able to recommend a clean place, reasonably priced. That's what I need, a clean place, reasonably priced.

- On the top is a gold necklace with a gold heart.
- Correction, half a gold heart.
- At the base of the mound of dirt is a torn piece of newsprint written with the words, which appear to be in blood: "Fire walk with me."
- Sheriff, you and I have gotta find out who's got the other half of that heart.

- Audrey, look what you've done.
- Audrey... oh...
- Did they scarf that whole damn smorgasbord?
- Audrey, honey, don't you go in there.
- I'm hungry.
- Audrey, don't...
- Don't go in there. Audrey.

[first lines]
Pete: Gone fishing.

- Katherine, I have the final say-so.
- Peter, push the plug.
- Pete, don't you dare.
- Katherine, please.
- Shorty, tell the boys to pull the plug.
- That's right.

- She wouldn't do that to me.
- You didn't love her, anyway.
- Let him go.

- Josie: Hello, sheriff.
- Hey, Jo.
- I understand you wanted to see the sheriff up here.
- Yes, I did.
- Right over here.

- She sounded so desperate.
- Then she ran off.
- I let her go and she died.
Donna: Oh, it's okay.
- It's not your fault, James.
- It's okay.
- James, it's all right. James.

Pete: Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You're not gonna believe this, there was a fish in the percolator!

- Smell those Douglas firs.
- What's down there?
- An old logging road.
- The only access is five miles back at the packard mill.
- And I told doc hayward his daughter was okay.
- My fault, Harry, not yours.
James: Thanks, Joey.
Joey: No problem, James.

Jocelyn: Peter, push the plug.

- Why don't you whistle for a little backup?
- Truman: I can see which way the wind's blowing.
- Lucy, get us a backup unit down here at the roadhouse right away.
- Make that two backup units.
- And call Dr. Hayward. Tell him we found his daughter and she's fine.
Lucy: All right, sheriff.

- Well, we're all pretty broken up about what happened today, sir.
- Besides,
- Bobby's doing most of the driving.
- I'll see if she wants to come down.
- Mike, would you mind waiting out here, please?
- The best-laid plans of mice and men.
- Snake, man. Let's go!

- in a video of a picnic they found.
- The reason I'm telling you this is that Donna was in the video with her, and she won't tell them who shot it or who else was with them.
Eileen: What?
- Will: But they think the killer may have the other half of the heart.

FBI: There's over ten thousand dollars here. That's a lot of Girl Scout cookies.

FBI: Sheriff, that reminds me. Can you recommend to me a good, inexpensive hotel or motel? Now it doesn't have to be fancy and I mean that.
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I can get you a good rate up at the Great Northern.
FBI: Because you know, I think I'm going to be here for some time, and these motels, they'll promise you a good rate and when you get there it's a whole different story. Now all I need is a bed, a bathroom, a telephone, and sometimes a television in the unlikely event that one day I'll get a chance to knock off early.
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I can get you a good rate up at the Great Northern.
FBI: Sold. Well, tomorrow comes early.

- Doc, I'm gonna release her to you, but I want her back up here for questioning first thing in the morning.
- All right, Harry.
- Andy, hawk, put James back in number 4.
- James.
- It's gonna be all right.

Dale: Who's the lady with the log?
Sheriff: We call her the Log Lady.

Benjamin: If you'll permit me, Sven, to repeat what you told me this morning after your run: "My air sacks have never felt so good."

- but before we leave,
- I would like to ask each of you to join me in a moment of silence for Laura and her dear memory.
- Oh, god.

FBI: Who's the babe?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: That is one of the most beautiful women in the state, Mrs. Packard.
FBI: Packard Sawmill?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Yep.
FBI: Where's Mr. Packard?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Died in a boating accident last year. Andrew Packard practically built this town. Brought her over from Hong Kong six years ago. Left her everything, which didn't exactly please his sister. That's her right there. The original deep freeze.
FBI: Who's the glad-handing dandy?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Benjamin Horne, local big wig, he owns half the town. He's not after her, he's after her land.
FBI: Who's the lady with the log?
Sheriff Harry S. Truman: We call her the log lady.

- And I've got something else for you here.
- You can come on in.
- I know Laura was your best friend.
- You've been through a lot today.
- We're finished here for the time being.
- Okay.

- Could I speak to you for a moment, please?
- Certainly.
- Um, there's a...
- Mm-hm.
- The principal will be making an announcement.
- Yes?
- Thank you for your time.

- Here it is.
- There it is. Oh, my god, here it is.
- What?
- Would you leave us, please?
- Jim.
- Uh, would you leave us alone, please?
- Oh! Certainly.
- Cooper: I've got to find something to grab onto this with.

- Everybody gone? Not good.
- Julie: The nonnegians are leaving.
- Nonnegians are leaving.
- Listen to me.
- You are throwing away the investment opportunity of a lifetime.
- Better that than to throw a lifetime away.
- You stay out of this!
- Ha, ha.
- Julie: The nonnegians are leaving.

- Laura.
- There will be an announcement from the principal.

- I suppose this will include a phone conversation with Mike,
- Mr. Bonehead-boyfriend.
- No, this is about Laura.
- And it's really, really serious.
- Check.
- Okay, thank you.
- Ha, ha.

Bobby: Norma, I'll see you in my dreams.
Norma: Not if I see you first.

Sven: Excuse me, is there something wrong, young pretty girl?
Audrey: They found my friend Laura... lying facedown on a rocky beach... completely naked. She'd been murdered.