The Best Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson Quotes

Judge: Is that the degenerate criminal I had to give up my fishin' trip for just when the bass started bitin'?

Jed: Your honor, Mr. Drysdale is a real good friend of ours. I can vouch for his character.
Judge: If I was to turn him loose, is he the kind of a banker that would run off with my wife?
Jed: Naw, he wouldn't do nuthin' like that.
Judge: Well, in that case, we might as well take him fishin' with us. Prisoner is sentenced to cut bait.

Sheriff: Sorry about the delay, your honor, but the bear got loose and treed your wife.
Judge: Was that Phoebe he chased up a tree?
Sheriff: Yes, your honor, and I'm afraid she's still up there.
Judge: [to Mr. Drysdale] How much you want for that bear?

Judge: You're in contempt of court just from the way you look.
Milburn: It's not my fault. I didn't sleep a wink last night. They were building a scaffold outside my cell.
Judge: Yeah, we gonna hang that big city banker that ran off with my wife.
Milburn: Hang him? Why?
Judge: He brought her back.

Judge: What else is this hobo charged with?
Bailiff: Transportin' moonshine.
[puts a jug on the Judge's bench]
Judge: Smells like Tennessee Tranquilizer.
Daisy: You got a good nose on you, Judge. That's just what it is.
Judge: Who are you?
Daisy: I'm her Granny and I made that stuff you're sniffin'.
Judge: You may approach the bench.
[whispers to Granny]
Judge: How would you like to go fishin' too?
Daisy: Can I take Elly and her bear with us?
Judge: I insist on it.
Daisy: It's a deal.
Judge: Bailiff, is there any more of this here evidence?
Bailiff: Yes, your honor, 3 jugs.
Judge: I want it all impounded on my boat. Court's adjourned.