The Best The Sopranos, Season 6, Episode 7 Quotes

- That's where the twin towers were.
- We should go see it.

- Everything okay in there?
- For once I'd like to eat without you getting a call from work.
- Ah.
- God damn it.

- All those forms. Shit me.
- I wish I could help you, but really, it's a small inconvenience compared to living in freedom, right?
- Yes, I know this.
- Get him another 'buca.
- Hey, Tony.

- and this is very hard...
- Nobody wants to hear you talk.
- They're trying to eat out there and you come along with your corny jokes and your stupid stories.
- Just stay in the kitchen.
- That'd be a start.

- Presenters get about $30,000 worth of merchandise in those baskets.
- That's a year's salary for some people.
- Go figure.
- Hopefully we can spread some of that lolly around.
- We'll get you that script.

- She's a slow learner.
- She's a nice girl, and as predicted, the customers love her with her little stories from the old country.
- You are just picking on her.
- It's disgusting.
- He's a married man.

- Oh, so she's a little trick, huh?
- I was gonna cut you in, but now you're acting stupid.
- Regular people are all fucking stupid.
- You want some more?!
- Piece of dogshit! Little, crazy, motherfucking meatball dogshit!

- Hell of a tub here, guys.
- Sea, sun. I'm gonna make it my second home.
- Anybody else hungry? Huh?
- We'll get lunch started.
- Artie, another Margarita?
- I could say no, but I won't.

Corky: [meeting privately, giving them the instructions to kill Rusty, in Italian] the address is in the bag, 134 Deweunter Terrace, Brooklyn: that's in New York, there's a map, dump it all after you memorize it. The man your gonna "pop" is very cautious, usually has protection. The guy has a long horse face, and is in good shape. The "fish" have been cleaned, you can drop them where you do it
Salvatore: [in Italian] where'd you learn to speak Italian?
Corky: [in Italian] I came over here with my parents when I was two
Italo: [in Italian] you were born in Italy, where?

- Arthur, a lot of people don't like rabbit.
- My grandfather's way.
- Only with provencal elements
- I been thinking about.
- I thought you were taking it to him at the home.
- Okay... out.
- I wanna get outta here tonight.

- We're offering the full services of the spa today, including massage.
- Listen, we're thinking about Sam
- Rockwell for the younger guy.
- Is that a good chemistry for you?
- Hmm.
- May I offer you champagne?
- Maybe later.

- Well, no, it's just a test-drive for a couple of weeks.
- You know, my family gave me some sunglasses for Christmas so why don't you have these?
- I bet they'll look great on you, Chris.
- I don't know. You think?
- Sir Ben, can we get a shot?

- Sandy just seated a couple.
- Kitchen's closed.
- He said they were supposed to go to the city but they had car trouble.
- Hector already left to pick up his wife.
- Plus I got nothing back here, charm.
- They already opened the bottle.

Tony: You bitch and you moan, and you blame everybody else for your problems. Instead of maybe not letting the Mexicans do all the cooking for you, or maybe changing the menu, or changing the decorum.
Artie: I guess because you know how to eat, you know how to run a restaurant.
Tony: On one of the bleakest nights of my life, after the shit with my mother, and that fucking storm outside, I came here. To this place. I sat out there with Carm and my two kids and we ate and we drank and we were so happy to be here. More than any other place in the world. And you know I'm gonna eat here til I fall off the chair. But in business sometimes shit happens, the playing field changes, whatever. And you gotta do whatever you gotta do to keep your dick up.
Artie: If you hate it here so much, why don't you go Don Giovanni. See if he'll cook you that bland shit for your shattered pancreas.
Tony: [pauses] Alright, I'll tell you one thing. And this is very hard. Nobody wants to hear you talk. They're trying to eat out there, and you come along, with your corny jokes, and your stupid stories. Just stay in the kitchen. That'd be a start.

- Right. I scored some major swag.
- A little taste for you.
- Trip to Australia, first-class vouchers, some kind of golf resort.
- Looks like sarasota.
- After what, a 20-hour flight? No.

- It's not Hector or the meat or these assholes that are always looking for the next hot thing. It's me.
- Limit it to a quick visit at coffee.
- People wanna talk to each other, not you.
- Really? You know better than New Jersey zagat...
- "Arthur bucco, warm and convivial host"?

[Artie screaming ] Fuck!
- Jesus! Fuck, my hand!
- Shit! Oh god! Oh fuck!
- Fuck! My hand!
- Oh my god! Oh my god!
- Oh my god, Arthur!
- Somebody call 911 please!

Christopher: [about Hollywood] Ben Kingsley passed. Made some contacts. Plus we got to see Lindsay Lohan - total piece of ass.

Tony: Well, listen, the other day I was driving along, thinking about your little problem. How bout a promotion? Coupon, two for one.
Artie: Two-fers. Wow. You mean like you get a free spaghetti and meatballs if you bring another cheap comare douchebag in here? How 'bout an early bird special? Salad wagon? This is a fine dining establishment. I'll give it back to the bank before I turn into a fucking IHOP!

- So it's 500 for the hour,
- 300 for half.
- And if you wanna keep skiing, that's extra.
- All right, Eden, how's about 400 for 40 and four more lines and then we'll take it from there?
- That'll work.

- You let me go, t.
- I asked you. Now it's my fault Artie and Benny got into it?
- This is what I was concerned about,
- Christopher, the loss of focus.
- Look...
- Not many guys have had to make the kind of sacrifice I did.
- How many times you gonna play the Adriana card?

- He used to say to me, "you'll see.
- Pays off in the end."
- What a joke.
- I hate to see you like this, you know that.
- 'Cause you start thinking crazy shit.
- Who's hungry?

- Ho, pal.
- Move your car. We're late.
- Move El automobile.
- Rusty! Don't forget to call Marissa.
- Hurry up. Let me see.
- Museum...
- Eastern parkway.
- Eastern parkway, not the belt parkway.

Tony: [referring to his outburst during dinner] Fucking Phil, some display, huh?
Christopher: I paid a visit to Vito's comare, Jill, she hasn't heard from Vito
Christopher: [to Carlo after he walks up to them] We were just discussing La Cage Aux Fat
Carlo: [to Tony, after laughing at Christopher's joke] I was gonna get my cousin Tommy to call his detective friend. I've been hamstrung with that work stop at the office
Tony: [before shrugging] Vito shows up, he shows up, then we deal with him. If not...
Carlo: It's just a phone call, and seriously, Tommy says the guy can track somebody from the corner of shit
Tony: [jokingly] Yeah, I saw them do that on CSI
Christopher: [after Carlo leaves] Hey, I was glad to hear you say that on the search because I gotta take a little time off for some business in Cali: Little Carmine's lined up a meet for us
Tony: So, what is it? Business or time off?
Christopher: [referring to working for Tony] Time off from here but definitely business with Ben Kingsley

Artie: Benny, can I get you a Martina?
[Benny gives him a strange look]
Benny: Excuse me?
Artie: A Martina. It's like a martini, but it's from Albania.
Jen: I've never heard of it.
Artie: Well, apparently they go down real easy.

Martina: [talking privately] What is it? You're looking at me very seriously
Artie: Remember I had that friend that was going to help you "speed" through the Green Card process?
Artie: [after she nods] "Apparently", it's not happening
Martina: why?
Artie: "Too much on his plate" he said. I guess your gonna just have to do it yourself, I'm sorry
Martina: All those forms: shit me
Artie: I wish I could help you... but really, it's a small inconvenience to live in freedom, right?
Martina: [before he walks away] Yes, I know this

- I can put the credit card numbers on actual plastic for an extra five bills.
- We do Internet strictly.

- You wanna help me so badly?
- Try paying your tab.
- Excuse me?
- That little roast you and the waste management people threw for dick barone when he got sick...
- 40 fucking garbagemen from around the country.
- Of course you paid pat Cooper.
- You paid the entertainment.

- pulled from the lost-and-found.
- Fuck this!
- No, fuck you!
- Arthur...
- I don't know which one of you pieces of shit did this, but I've been good to you!
- Getting us nowhere.
- And you pay me back with nonstop ass-rape!
- Well fuck all of you!

- You know, some people might feel a little offended.
- Me... my heart is an open book.
- Anyway, rusty's gone and we'll chalk it up to the headless horseman.
- Giovanni.
- Bravo!

Artie: [while she leaves] hold on a second. I want to ask you something
Artie: [as she begins to cry, realizing she was part of Benny's credit card scheme] I knew it
Martina: I'm sorry. I'll pay you back
Artie: How could you do this to me?
Martina: You were so mean to me
Artie: Like helping you find the apartment? Teaching you how to drive?
Martina: As soon as you found out I wasn't going to fuck you, you started picking on me
Artie: I wanted to fuck you? You certainty have a high opinion of yourself
Martina: You stare to me like food. Well, I'd never fuck you. I go to Benny and we laugh at you
Artie: Benny?
Martina: While I fuck him in the pile of money we take from your stupid customers
Artie: You're fired
Artie: [as she exists the door] oh yeah? Look whose laughing now. You don't think I can press charges because of my friendship with Tony? Three months you've worked here, you don't think that goes on your permanent record? We lead the world in computerized data collection

Phil: [talking privately] this is from John: He said to tell you he appreciates the recent "Headlines"
Phil: [when Tony doesn't respond] Rusty
Tony: [referring to killing Rusty as a favor to John] I don't know what you're talking about: I turned him down on that
Phil: You're a cautious man, you know some people might feel offended, me? My heart is an "open book"
Phil: [when Tony doesn't respond again, referring to the fictional character from the short story The Legend of Sleepy Hollow] Anyway, Rusty's gone. "Chalk" it up to The Headless Horseman

- It's very few right now.
- Football season.
- I could watch her walk away all night.
- Good, 'cause like most girls with you, that's what she's gonna do.
- Ah, to be young and single again like these two, huh, Benito?
- Ahh.

- Um, could you just get this cleaned up so we can open? Thanks.
- No no. It's very bad.
- They had the credit card police.
- Those companies are huge.
- They come on tough, but in the end, they gotta eat it.
- Okay.

- You're fired.
- Oh yeah? Oh, who's laughing now?
- What do you think? I can't press charges
- 'cause of my friendship with Tony?!
- Three months you worked here!
- You think that doesn't go on your permanent record?!
- We lead the world in computerized data collection!

Tony: [to Benny] You don't shit where you eat. And you especially don't shit where *I* eat.

- You can drop them where you do it.
- Where'd you learn to speak Italian?
- I came over with my parents when I was two.
- You were born in Italy?
- Where?

Benny: [Answers the door after Artie rang it several times late at night] Artie, do you know what time it is?
Artie: We need to talk
Benny: Now? My wife is pregnant, she needs to sleep
Artie: Martina told me about your credit card business, step outside Ben
Benny: [to his wife] I'll be outside a minute honey
Benny: Look, your upset alright? But it's not my fault that little "trick" got greedy
Artie: [Eventually pushes him against the wall] oh, so she's a little "trick" huh?
Benny: I was going to cut you in but now your acting stupid

- Well, apparently they go down real easy.
- Right, Ben?
- We're gonna look at the menu.
- Good enough.
- You order for me.
- Fine. The monkfish.
- There's such a strange consistency.