The Best How I Met Your Mother, Season 1, Episode 11 Quotes

Marshall: Oh, God. I'm reaching dangerous levels of psychage. Must do robot.

Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?
Not: Who?
Ted: The recording artist, Moby.
Not: Oh, no.
Ted: But, when we said "Hey, Moby" you said "Yeah"
Not: Oh, I thought you said Tony.
Ted: So your name's Tony?
Not: No.

Marshall: I couldn't find Lily at party number three so I walked... I walked to the next party on the list.
Ted: Not Moby's party?
Marshall: Yes, Moby's party. Check it out. He signed my shirt.
[Shows the back of the shirt where the name "Eric" is written]

Barney: You know why the phone lines are tied up, is everybody's calling their loved ones. Everyone but Barney...
[the others laugh]
Barney: Oh, sure. Laugh. Laugh for Barney Stinson! Laugh for the sad clown on whirling carousel of suits, cigars, bimbos and booze. Round and round it goes, and where's it all going? Nowhere...
Robin: Is this just 'cause you lost your "Get Psyched" mix?

Barney: People often ask me "Barney how is that you're so psyched so much of the time"?
Lily: By who? Who asks you that?

Robin: Derek stood me up.
Narrator: Pfft. Derek.

- What about your guy?
- It's midnight.
- Go kiss him.
- Eh, he kept me waiting.
- I can keep him waiting.
- Well, a deal is a deal.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

Barney: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have time for hot dogs?
Marshall: Yeah, we like hot dogs.

- Ted, Derek stood me up.
- Pfft. Derek.
- Now, we had a tight schedule to keep that night and I was already on a date with another girl.
- But it was Robin.
- Ranjit, turn it around.

Ted: Yes, Barney, your submissions were received and no, we will not be attending any parties in your pants.
Barney: But you enjoyed the e-vite, right? Thas an actual picture of my pants.

Barney: Ranjit! Dude, you're driving a limo now. That's awesome.
Ranjit: I've moved up in the world.

Barney: Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya.
Lily: Barney, none of us really liked her.
Barney: WHAT?
Lily: Sorry.
Barney: Oh, very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose to turn my front on her!

- Where are you getting that from?
- Ted, it's okay.
- I'm fine.
- And I can tell that she's into you, too.
- That's ridiculous.
- Wait. Really?
- Happy New Year, Ted.

Barney: This mix is my pride and joy. I never leave home without it.
Not: Oh, that's how I feel about Janice here.
[Pulls out a gun]

Barney: Ted, come on. We have an hour and a half before midnight I don't want to be kissing Ranjit.
Ranjit: You don't know what you're missing.

Lily: So where are you from, Natalya?
Barney: She... who knows. The former Soviet republic of Drunk-Off-Her-Ass-Istan?

Robin: You're not Moby, are you?
Not: Who?
Robin: Moby... the recording artist, Moby.
Not: No.
Barney: But when we said, "Hey, Moby," you said, "Yeah."
Not: I thought you said "Tony."
Ted: So your name is Tony?
Not: No.

Barney: The first time I rode in a limo I was five. I was on the way to my grandfather's funeral. I suppose, in a way, I still am.

Lily: Who was that guy?
Barney: Well, we know it's not Moby and it's not Tony.

Barney: Not-Moby took my "get-psyched" mix!

Marshall: Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs... It's like we're the president.

Natalya: Hello, American party friends of Barney's.

Narrator: You probably want to feel bad for your old man at this point in the story. Well, don't. Not every night has a happy ending. But all of it's important. All of it was leading somewhere. Because suddenly, it was 2006. And 2006 was a big one.

Narrator: Robin was spending New Year's with her boyfriend, Derek. Derek. He was like rich, successful, handsome. I hated that guy.