The Best Rick and Morty, Season 4, Episode 2 Quotes

Beth: Honey, our daughter ran off with a frisbee golfer because of some app with a really dumb, really forgettable name... like a really dumb, uncreative, super sweaty name. Anyway, I'll be late, I love you.

Beth: Stupid phones are destroying us.

- You shit on my toilet because you don't know your place, and your place is nothing.
- So next time you stumble onto a toilet that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is.
- You're not gonna kill me?
- Don't tell me what to do!

Farmer: What the hell are you doing?
Beth: Parenting!
Farmer: That's not how i did it.
Beth: Yeah, and where's your daughter?
Farmer: Eh, you're right... she joined Isis.

- Come, Tony. Come on.
- Come poop with me.
- Poop with me, Tony.
- Poop with me.
- God: What are you waiting for?
- Aren't you gonna join us, Tony?
- Aren't you gonna join us in the pooping?

Danny: I ran all the way here while staring at your profile... I tripped over a fire hydrant and fell down so I'm covered in gravel that stuck to my sweat and even after a shower I'll still be into a jam band for old junkies, but I think this world cares too much about bands and too little about love and I think I love you.

- The server's on the mother ship.
- Where's the mother ship?
- It's coming.
- Take us to it.
- -Yes.
- Shake him more, morty.
- That was working.
- Take us to the mother ship.

- Oh, yeah? Why's that?
- Eh, it's an app you'd want to develop.
- Can I ask what it is?
- Of course you can.
- That's always the first step in app development.
- Ah. [Chuckles]
- 50/50! Final offer!

- the opening of "the Beverly hillbillies."
- You know what I'm saying?
- A little bubbling crude?
- Texas tea?
- I don't know these references.
- Yeah, but you have a space Everest?
- Watch
- "space Beverly hillbilllies" so my jokes can land, you fucking twat.

- I'm gonna mother you until your 18th birthday, even if I get thrown in prison for non-consensual mothering.
- And even then, I will break out, come to your house, kick down your door, and mother your fucking face out of your stupid asshole.
- I'm gonna daughter your brains out, bitch.

- w-we don't need to high-five.
- It's... it's kind of your fault that we're in this situation at all.
- I know, but, you know, come on.
- "Adventures of Jerry and morty."
- Okay.

- My apologies, lieutenant commander.
- No problem. At ease, solider.
- Initiate employee evaluation mode.
- Accessing delivery archive.
- Okay, listen.
- You delivered an avian protein club sandwich with no iettu... goddamn it.

- So, really, a lot of ways of looking at this as not much of a loss.
- I understand.
- It's, uh, hard losing a friend.
- Fuck you.
- What?
Rick: He's not my friend.

- Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me screaming every time you take a shit.
- All hail his majesty, the sa-a-ddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos.
- Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy.
- May his reign last 1,000 years.

Glootie: Do you want to develop an app?

Rick: Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. You s#*t on my toilet because you don't know your place. And your place is nothing! So next time you stumble on to a toilet that feels to good for your ass, trust me, it is!
Tony: You're not going to kill me?
Rick: Don't tell me what to do!