The Best Lucifer, Season 3, Episode 23 Quotes

Amenadiel: Maybe celestial beings and humans... Luci, maybe they aren't that different.
Lucifer: What, are we talking in bed? 'Cause we all know my skills are preternatural.

Mia: [about her affair] Before I knew it, we were...
Lucifer: Hitting a home run? Digging into the dugout? Slamming it out of the park?

- Let her go, forest.
- Was that enough of a confession, detective?
- Yes. We recorded everything.
- It's over, forest.
- Let her go.
- Turn around.

- Now I'm...
- Really gonna kill you.

- I mean, come on, you're a demon.
- He's an angel.
- This is what you do.
- Unless your time on earth changed you more than I thought and you're not the merciless badass you used to be.
- Nothing's changed.
- I'm in.

Mazikeen: God isn't a drive-thru... you can't just order what you want.

Delivery: You Dan Espinoza?
Lucifer: How dare you.

- so I'm just gonna have to tell you.
- Detective...
- Chloe...
- I am the devil.
- No, you're not.
- Not to me.

Robert: Devon was the heart and soul of King Clay. I can't tell you how hard it's been.
Lucifer: [Believes he had an affair with the victim] Emphasis on the "hard."

- I had to kill you before, but now I just want to.
- Okay, you could kill me, sure, but Linda would die, too.
- You're full of it.
- Maybe I knew you weren't gonna follow through, so I needed a fail-safe.
- Liar!
- Call her. Tell her to look out her window.

Marcus: I have a new plan. Well, same plan, new victim.
Mazikeen: Who's the sacrificial lamb?
Marcus: God's favorite son.

Lucifer: It's best if everyone involved just goes back to normal.
Linda: Easier said than done, Lucifer.
Lucifer: Yes, you may be right.
[Has a thought]
Lucifer: Maybe I should *do* normal rather than just say it.
Linda: Huh?
Lucifer: Help speed things along a little. Ah. Another nugget. Thank you, Doctor.
[Leaves]
Linda: Yep. Back to normal.

- N you were my always... j'j'
[gasping]: Will you s-stay with me?
- Yes.
- Yes, I promise.
- J'j' ashes, ashes j'j' j'j' ooh j'j'

- as a sports fan.
- No, from my nightmares.
- My hell loop.
- If his wife is dead, he did it.
- He's the killer.
- N n

Ben: The firm handles cases like this all the time.
Amenadiel: Really? How many cases of misdiagnosed chlamydia are there?
Ben: You'd be... surprised.

Lucifer: Right now, I can't show you, so I'm just going to have to tell you. Detective, Chloe, I *am* the Devil.
Chloe: No, you're not. Not to me.

- to cheat on his marriage.
- He would never tell you this, but Devon had been having an affair with her ceo for years.
- Was she, now?
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- N n

- he gave it to his young and hungry first-year associate: Me.
- And here's the thing, I kept it.
- I thought it might come in handy someday.
- I'll get my check book.
- Turns out
- I'm a pretty smart lady.

Linda: Just because she didn't choose Pierce doesn't mean she chose you.
Lucifer: And just because she un-chose Pierce doesn't not mean she didn't choose me.

- Yeah, he's not the real bad guy.
- Thank you.
- I know you're gonna say there's still no proof.
- No, I wanted to say thank you.
- Thank you for helping me solve this case.
- And I might have an idea of how to solve yours.

Lucifer: My shenanigans leading to a break in the case? That is quintessential Deckerstar.
[Chloe rolls her eyes]
Lucifer: And the eye roll. Now you're getting it.

Lucifer: When Charlotte had her mini-death, she went to Hell. Forest haunted her Hell loop and now is haunting her nightmares... which, sidebar, Dan is also a part of, so things are heating up there.
Charlotte: Oh, well, that sure is nonsense.
Lucifer: Oh, don't worry. The detective won't believe me.
[Chloe glares at him]
Lucifer: See? It's classic us.

Chloe: Lucifer's the reason that I said yes to Pierce, and... he's also the reason that I said no.

Lucifer: All work and no play makes the detective... a shoe.
[Holds up monopoly piece]

- if we don't get out there.
- I made the batter, Dan.
- Oh, yeah?
- Well, sweet, because the waffle king has arrived.
- Step aside, my lady.
- Good morning, Micah.

- Okay. Time out. Time out.
- Geez. I won't go after amenadiel.
- You won't?
- You're probably right... it wouldn't work anyway.

Ella: Average height, average build, no visible scars or tattoos. I mean, even his shoes are so boring.
Lucifer: Mm, no wonder he's stealing sneaker secrets.

Charlotte: It may be too late for us, but at least I'm trying to fix things. Maybe you can try, too.

- No.
- But because of you...
- He will never hurt anyone ever again.
- And I'm pretty sure that you didn't do that just for yourself, did you?
[Chuckles softly] Maybe not.

- And here's the kicker.
- A.j. Got out of prison just three weeks ago.
- Motive and opportunity.
- It all fits.
- All right.
- We got to find this guy.
- N n

Charlotte: [after being shot] Will you, will you stay with me?
Amenadiel: Yes, yes. I promise.
[His wings appear]
Amenadiel: Let's go home.

- n you were my compass j'j' j'j' now I've turned sideways n“ j'j' who do you turn to? N j'j' ooh... j'j' let's go home.
- J'j' ooh j'j'

- to fix things.
- You can always be forgiven... that is in your hands.
- And, um...
- Well, for what it's worth,
- I will always be here for you.

Ben: Where the hell is security?
[Guards arrive]
Ben: Thank God.
Charlotte: I don't think God's on your side, Ben.

Ella: Mr. Clay's nose is as long as a Dodger Dog.

Charlotte: Deep down, I know what I helped cover up was murder.
Lucifer: I believe her.
Chloe: Really?
Lucifer: Mm.
Chloe: Why?
Lucifer: Well, which quintessential response would you like? The obscure enigmatic one or the blunt nonsensical one?