The Best The Big Bang Theory, Season 12, Episode 1 Quotes

Neil: That was fun. Let's see who else needs a deGrasse kickin'.

Sheldon: Lego is the perfect metaphor for marital congress. Two pieces that interlock with a satisfying snap.

- Amy asked me to water her plants.
- She doesn't have any plants.
- Well, you called me on a lie.
[Chuckles] Have a good day.
- That was weird, right?
- Was it? I honestly can't tell anymore.
- Hey, did you even see mamma Mia! 1?
- Didn't need to.
- The sequel stands on its own.

Sheldon: [First lines]
[With a big cute smile on his face]
Sheldon: Good morning, wife.
Amy: [She wakes up and smiles] Good morning, husband. I can't believe we're actually married.
Sheldon: It's official. According to tradition, we should hang the bed sheets outside so the villagers can see that we consummated.
Amy: [as Sheldon gets out of bed] I don't think that's appropriate considering where we're starting our honeymoon.
Sheldon: Well, I supposed you're right.
[He then opens the curtain in the hotel room to show the main entrance to Legoland California]

- And do you know why it won't be a true random schedule?
- Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
- Come with me.
- Where are we going?
- To the hotel room.
- And when we get there, I'm gonna need you to say that again, except naked.

- that grownups give each other.
- Sheldon, everybody's listening.
- Well, of course they're listening, we're interesting. Unlike that guy.
[Stammers] I'm walking away from you.
- I'm only recently married.
- Do I stay here? Do I follow?
- Say something useful.

- You're a good person, penny.
- Oh... [chuckles]
- I hope we get to spend lots of time together.
- Me, too.
- Yes.
- Hit the road.
- But...
- Now!
- Can I get my stuff?
- Be quick about it.

Amy: Make all the schedules you want. Just don't tell me about them.
Sheldon: Excellent. I'll create an algorithm that'll generate a pseudo-random schedule. And do you know why it won't be a true random schedule?
Amy: Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
Sheldon: Come with me.
Amy: Where are we going?
Sheldon: To the hotel room. And when we get there, I'm gonna need you to say that again, except naked.

- Yeah, but they seem to have nothing in common.
- Yeah, but sometimes opposites attract.
- Wait, wait, are you saying we are like them?
- I don't know, maybe a little.
- So you're the sweet, quiet one and I'm Amy's mom?
- Is that what you're saying?

- And neither can I.
- Hi, dad. How you doing?
- By the power vested in me by even-you-can-perform-weddings-dot-com
- I now pronounce you husband and wife.
- You may kiss the bride.

- My point is, you're not like her, so we're not like them.
- Thirty years from now, are you gonna hide from me because I'm so scary?
- Hey, I don't think you're scary.
- Yes, iflinch when you make sudden moves, but that says more about my childhood than you.