The Best The Office, Season 8, Episode 23 Quotes

Dwight: Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen?

- No, Jim. The butt, in his butt.
- Sorry, man,
- I can't focus on zingers.
- There's too many potential clients.
- You two better watch yourselves.
- Yeah, the Syracuse branch can't be happy you're taking New York clients.

Robert: [Speaking to Andy over the phone] You don't even know my real name. I'm the f**king Lizard King.

Jim: All right, well, enjoy the alumni game.
Dwight: Good, we have a deal?
Jim: Thanks, Janet.
Dwight: Thanks so much, Earl.
Jim: Wow, simultaneous sale.
Dwight: And they said it couldn't be done. Boom!
Jim: Screw 'em.
Andy: Lot going on, guys. What's happening?
Jim: Binghamton branch closed last night and their clients are up for grabs.
Andy: That was a fine branch. Things are really bad under Robert California, I guess. It's like a festival of poo.
Jim: Hey, hey, come on, language.
Dwight: Yeah, and we're not interested in your sour grapes, okay? Jim, tell him where he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge.
Dwight: No, Jim, the butt, in his butt.
Jim: Sorry, man, I can't focus on zingers. There's too many potential clients.
Stanley: You two better watch yourselves.
Phyllis: Yeah, the Syracuse branch can't be happy you're taking New York clients.
Robert: Shh... shh...
[vomits in trash can]
Jim: Robert?
Oscar: Why did Binghamton close?
Robert: Can everyone just, please... I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and - how should I say this - Columbian whites. What - what is this about, uh, Binghamton?
Kevin: The branch closed. Forever.

Dwight: Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years.
Jim: But you're saying there's a chance.

- Way to mock us for perfecting our bodies.
- Everyone, conference room. Now.
- All right. Easy there, grandpa.
- I don't need your help.
- Okay, you don't need my help?
- Here, here, just...

- You want me to drive to your house if! Need paper?
- Maybe you just want someone to talk to, maybe you need a place to crash for a couple of days.
- My wireless password is "eat, pray, love."
- Easy to remember.
- Ready? Go, go, go!

- I'll still be talking about geishas long past their bedtime.
- You know, I trained as one.
- Is it just me, or is our boss a freaking weirdo?
- I'm going to get some air.
- Jim, you know what would be really dastardly?
- If we snuck out of here and got to the client first.

Harry: No, no, no, kid! Stay there, do your dishes! Go ahead!

- effete, soft-penised debutant.
- You want to start a street fight with me, bring it on, but you're going to be surprised by how ugly it gets.
- You don't even know my real name. I'm the [bleep] Lizard king.
- Whoa.
- Well, I gave him a chance.