The Best The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Season 3, Episode 1 Quotes

Carlton: Will, you must change.
Will: Carlton, you must grow.

Vivian: [When Carlton comes home from the airport all beaten up] Carlton, honey, what happened?
Carlton: Will told everyone at the airport I was Bryant Gumbel.
Will: I thought I'd get my luggage faster.
Vivian: You poor baby, what did they do? Mob you for autographs?
Carlton: No, five old ladies attacked me for being mean to Willard.

Philip: [to Vivian] And boarding school's not so bad, is it, Geoffrey? Geoffrey went to boarding school. Tell her, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Madam, I went to boarding school and then I went to therapy.

Jazz: [to Will] Weren't you just here?
Will: I've been gone all summer. Isn't there something else you'd like to say to me?
Jazz: Now that you mention it, yeah. You dating Whoopi Goldberg?

Geoffrey: [after hearing Will's loud music] I don't know whether to duck under the table or do the running man.

Will: You all trying to play me like that, right?
[to Carlton]
Will: What if he told you that you couldn't wear plaid anymore?
Carlton: Don't joke about that, Will.
Will: [to Hilary] What if he told you that you couldn't entertain men in the Jacuzzi anymore?
Vivian: When did you have a man in the Jacuzzi?
Hilary: This isn't about me. It's about Will.

Jazz: [after Will leaves the Banks' house, he goes to Jazz's apartment] What's up, man?
Will: What's up, J?
Jazz: When did you get back?
Will: I just got back this morning, man.
Jazz: Man, welcome home. Later.
[shuts the door in Will's face]

Philip: Will, there'll be no beepers worn in this house.
Will: Yo, what's up, Uncle Phil? My mom let me wear it in Philly.
Philip: That's because she's your mother and she loves you. I'm your uncle. I just try not to hurt you.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, I need to keep in touch with my tasties.
Philip: I beg your pardon?
Ashley: His tasties, Daddy. You know, his chubbies, his slimmies, his old ladies?
Philip: And who are you? Queen Latifah?

Vivian: Philip, Will's been gone for seven hours now. What if something's happened to him?
Philip: Don't try to cheer me up, Vivian.
Vivian: Philip, I'm serious. Do something.
Philip: What do you want me to do? I've got Geoffrey out scouring the city.
Geoffrey: [walks in the house] I'm terribly sorry, sir, I've looked everywhere. There isn't an ice cream sandwich left in this town.

Philip: [to Will about his beeper] Get rid of that thing.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, what's wrong? Do you think everybody's gonna think I'm a drug dealer? Why wouldn't they think I'm a doctor?
Carlton: [takes Will's hat off, showing off his hair] 'Cause everyone knows Buckwheat never went to medical school.

Philip: Ashley, what are you doing out of bed?
Ashley: I'm worried about Will. Why did you throw him out into the street, Daddy?
Philip: I did not throw him into the street.
Geoffrey: Quite right, sir. You threw him on the lawn. He rolled into the street.

Vivian: Philip, when Will gets here, please be nice otherwise, you're going to be bunking with Mr. Couch.
Philip: Woman, please do you think that you can manipulate me with sex?
Vivian: Does James Brown have a perm?

Will: Look Uncle Phil, I'm saying, what's the difference between me wearing this and you in the sixties? You wore a dashiki and an afro.
Phillip: But I was making a cultural statement. You're just drawing attention to yourself.
Will: But, now correct me if I'm wrong but you don't think a 6'3", in a dashiki and an afro the size of West Philly is drawing attention to himself?

Hilary: Daddy, I need $500.
Will: Hil, you should really consider expanding your vocabulary a little.
Vivian: Hilary, honey, if it's for the barbecue we're catering this afternoon we have already paid you.
Hilary: It's not for the barbecue. I just want $500.