The Best Various Quotes

Bobby: My biological parents were... John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.
Mr. Blackwell: Interesting. The ones we've heard of?
Bobby: The President and the movie star, yes.

Jackie Rogers Jr.: This is the most effective memory enhancement drug on the market. It'll improve your short-term memory. It'll improve your long-term memory. And most of all, it'll improve your short-term memory.

Jackie: I completely made that up, that was an improvisation!
Sammy: I knew it, you lab rat.

Doug: I resolve that each day will be filled with magical possibilities! And these possibilities, because they are magic, will be only illusions!
Alan: What are you talking about?

Ed: Reverend? Oh, give me a break. Jackson is a Reverend! Oh, isn't that fine? And how many times did I say 'whorehouse'? Like, oh, probably eight million times.